I thought my whole life that I knew what a best friend was, but I was wrong. If for any reason, we ever fight about something, and I mean really fight about.
Dear Best Friend,
I hope this letter finds you on a day that is filled with excitement for the future. You’re leaving for college and I could not be more thrilled for you.
I’m not sure if we’re as close as we were this time last year, but I understand that things have changed in our friendship, and that’s okay. We always hear about people losing touch with their best friends but never think it will happen to us. I’m not sure what exactly caused our subtle drift apart, though I believe the distance and lack of communication that began when I went off to school played a hand in it.
We go weeks – sometimes even months – without talking and I used to miss you so much when when that happened, but to be honest, it never seemed like you missed me. And because of that, I guess I stopped missing you. When I look through pictures of the two of us, it’s bittersweet. I miss the connection we used to have, back when I knew everything about your life without having to pry for information. There are a million and one ways to contact you (thanks to social media), but I still have no idea what’s going on in your life or what the stories are behind the pictures you post. Now it seems all we’re left with is the occasional “How are you?” text, and “Happy Birthday” message, and less-than-promising plans to catch up with each other.
Our friendship is a big part of what made me who I am. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. When we first became friends, I clung on to that friendship with a death grip. But slowly, I started to feel comfortable enough to open up to you and was able to begin evolving into my own person.
Most of my favorite memories I was privileged to experience with you by my side. And there are times when, for a brief moment, it feels like nothing has changed between us and all of the memories I hold so dearly happened days ago. But more often than not, it feels like I’m viewing someone else’s moments and memories; things I’m unfamiliar with. We’ve drifted apart more than I ever thought we would. And while I’ve made a few friends here and there since going to college, I’ve yet to feel as close to any of them as I used to feel with you.
The purpose of this letter isn’t to make you sad. It’s quite the opposite, actually. This letter is my way of telling you that while I’m immensely saddened by the fact that we’ve drifted apart from the best friends we used to be, I’ve accepted it. And I’m filled with so much gratitude for the joy you’ve provided me with over the years. The advice and moral support and happiness you added into my life is invaluable to me.
I’m so happy that you’re about to go off to college and live that part of your life. You’ll make so many wonderful friends, while simultaneously finding out more about yourself than you ever thought possible. And if you’re ever feeling lost, or scared, or lonely while you’re at school, or if you begin to doubt why on Earth you decided to leave your childhood bedroom to share a room with someone you’ve never met before, just know that you can do it. Things will get hard and scary and confusing and overwhelming while you’re away. You won’t have that close-knit circle of people who love you to build you back up when you’re down. But things will also be new and exciting and beautiful and lovely. And you’re strong enough to get through the difficult parts to be able to experience the amazing ones.
Even when you feel like you’re going to scream because the people on the floor above you are making a ruckus at three a.m. that’s keeping you awake or you’re a mess of tears because you miss home terribly, it will be worth it. Because you are worth it.
Life is going to happen for you. And you’re going to be amazing. Because you matter. You exist. And you can do anything you set your mind to. You are a force to be reckoned with and that is a crazy, beautiful thing.
I want to thank you for being the brilliant person you are and for making such an impact on my life. I wish you nothing but the best in your new life at college. And while it breaks my heart a little bit to know that the distance between us will inevitably increase, I know that things will be wonderful for you.
You are going to change the lives of everyone you meet in the years to come. Because I don’t think anyone can meet you and not be taken aback by your unbridled enthusiasm and unfettered passion for life. I know it’s a tad selfish of me to say this, but there’s really no one like you. There’s no replacement for you. There’s no one who could make my life quite as colorful as you have. And even though I’m not sure if it’s my place to miss you terribly, I do and I will continue to.
You are brilliant and brave, and you are stronger than you know, even if you forget to believe in yourself sometimes. You have a wondrous soul and a beautiful heart that is able to give so much love to those around you. And I’m so happy to have been able to be on the receiving end of this outpouring of love on more than one occasion.
You’re a wonderful human. Quite honestly, you’re one of my favorite humans. My heart is filled with so much love and joy and excitement for you.
You are going to take the world by storm someday. And I’m not sure you even know it.
A Letter to My Best Friend Dear Best Friend, you lecturing me about my life, all the juvenile fights that we have had to all the midnight calls.
Dear Best Friend,
So here we are, in the middle of another one of our fights. It's stupid, really—typical us. You said something sarcastic, I said something hostile, and with that, all of our tensions came boiling to the surface. This is how it goes, every time. We could have chosen to not carry out this fight. One of us could have let the other's remark go unnoticed, one of us could have bit our tongue—but that's not us. We are both too proud, too feisty, and too honest to not say the witty remark that came to our mind. So really, it's no surprise we find ourselves here.
If I am going to be honest, though, I think it's amazing that we didn't fear this fight. We never questioned if our friendship could endure the ammo that was about to be fired from both sides. We had no wavering doubt that this fight would end in anything but a hug and a promise to do better by the other. Because of this, we didn't think twice about saying what we said. We didn't have a week of passive remarks or even think to employ an appeasement policy. Nope, not us—we just went for it. Not many friends can do what we do, just say what we are actually feeling without fearing the outcome. Unlike us, they hold it in, flash a fake smile, and pretend everything is OK. So in the middle of our fight, I want to take a moment to thank you for letting me tell you how I feel without making me fear that I will lose you.
But even if we didn't fear this fight, I still hate it. Right now we are in the thick of it, the part where I lie here on my bed, just wishing for the end to come. The end is my favorite part of a fight. It's where we tell each other “I love you" and promise to not make the same mistakes again. It's the moment where I realize that this fight was worth it, that this fight had value and purpose, because we leave with a better understanding of each other. So right now I patiently wait for that time to come, doing the best I can to understand our problem and work with you to fix it.
So, I've said a lot of things, but none of it was what I really wanted to tell you—please forgive my rambling self. All I really wanted to let you know is that I still love you. Yes, even now, when I have tears streaming down my face and we have each exchanged some hurtful words. Because you are so much more than the title “best friend" encompasses. I can't promise you that this will be our last fight, but I can promise you that 'til the end of the Earth, to the moon and back, forever and for always, I will love you. I can promise you that there is never a fight where that won't be true and never a day that will go by that I won't thank Res Life and Housing for bringing us together. I can promise you that I will always be here, even during a fight.
And I do.
Week One - A Letter to your Best Friend
Dear Best Friend,
I want you to know, first and foremost, that I love you. I know that you know because I tell you on basically a daily basis. But it’s not out of habit that I tell you, it’s not because I feel like I have to, but it’s to remind you. Remind you that you are so important to me.
Most people, especially girls, say that their significant other is the best thing that ever happened to them. But, for me, that’s not true. For me, the best thing that ever happened to me is you. And that will always be true from the honeymoon phase to the actual honeymoon to my 25th wedding anniversary, he will never quite be on par with you. You were there before him, during him, and should there ever be an after him - you’ll still be there. You were the one I gushed to over every step of the relationship.
You’re it for me. When something happens in my life, the first thing that I want to do is pick up the phone and tell you. It doesn’t even matter what that thing is. I will never be able to repay you for the countless hours you have spent listening to cry and complain and vent, for the bellyaches from laughter, for taking 3785 photos with me, and always snapping me back. I can never thank you enough for all the tears you’ve dried or caught on your shoulder, for all the times you made me laugh through good times and bad, and for just being there.
Being friends with me is not an easy task. I have a past that haunts me every single day, a past that has left me bruised, broken, and damaged. I can be loud and obnoxious and annoying. I can wear my emotions on my sleeve too much, or hold them down and hide them away. I can be needy, but I can always go days just needing space. I make mistakes - pretty big ones - and I’m not perfect. I am insecure, and that requires you to have to constantly remind me that you aren’t going anywhere. I am sorry that you are paying for the previous best friends, the ones who promised to never leave - and then left. Granted it was me who pushed them away, and that’s also something I grapple with every day. I have had friends get me attached and then just stop talking to me - and I am scared every single day that you are going to do that, too. It’s not fair - that I make you pay for their actions. I know. It’s not easy or fun being friends with someone who battles Depression and Anxiety, I know it’s not. There are nights that are too dark, and it’s everything I can do to make it until the morning. But you are always my morning. You are always my rainbow after the storm. You don’t judge me for my music taste, or my weird habits, or the weird things I tend to eat. You don’t judge me for the craziness, or my random singing, or the fact that I’m a complete mess.
Here’s the truth: I would be dead if it weren’t for you. I have been no stranger to thoughts that try to kill me, to feelings that persuade me to take my life and ideations that try to convince me that it wouldn’t make a difference. Insecurity and Depression wrap me up tight, whispering in my ear that no one would really be too affected, everyone would be okay. There may be tears, but everyone would move on easily. You come in, like a damn knight, and battle my demons for me. You remind me that, no, you would not be okay. And several others would not be okay. It would not be okay. “You promised me you would never hurt me, and losing you would completely shatter my heart, it’d break me.” You say, as many times as I need to hear it. You help me battle my demons, and that’s not easy. It’s annoying and frustrating and emotional and overwhelming, I know. I’m sorry. I love you.
I hope you know what fucking National Treasure you are. You draw people in until they feel like they have known you forever. You have taught me that asking for a hug is not a sign of weakness and asking for help is not a sign of failure. You have touched countless hearts. Your spirit in contagious and your laugh is infectious. Your heart is gold, and so many people love you. You’re probably the best person I’ve ever met in my life. You have a kind soul, an old soul, and a loving one.
Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my friend. You mean more to me than you will ever, ever know.
Week One - A Letter to your Best Friend You were there before him, during him, and should there ever be an after him .. I deny it so often, i'm tired of fighting.
It's no secret that disagreements and fights can happen in even the healthiest of friendships and if you've ever gotten into a major argument with a close friend, you're well aware of how painful and difficult the situation can be. In an ideal world, you and your friend would apologize and move forward together, but sometimes the situation is more complicated than that and you might even find yourselves not talking for an extended period of time.
If you and a friend have a falling out, it's up to both of you to bring your relationship back to a healthy place again. But if you try to make up without success, what happens next? Is your friendship over?
The short answer is no. You can always work towards healing a relationship if you want to. Although it can feel impossible, there are steps you can take to resolve your issues and come to an understanding regarding the cause of a conflict (even if your friend needs some space). Keep reading for a few things you can do if you're in a fight with a friend and they're not speaking to you.
When someone you consider a close friend refuses to make up with you, it may be time to take a step back and look at the relationship as a whole in order to gain some perspective. This can help you understand whether or not the friendship is worth fighting for. To do this, you can ask yourself questions like, "Do my friend and I have a history of arguing with each other," "Have recent events changed our relationships," "Have I acknowledged my friend's accomplishments," and "Do I think my time is more important than my friends?" If you answered yes to any of these questions, perhaps your friendship was heading for conflict and you didn't notice it before.
Additionally, when examining your friendship, it's important to take a look at your own actions. Check in with yourself and think about whether or not you've been taking your friend for granted, treating them as you should, or offering the support that they need. Sometimes people go through a rough period of time, and if friends can't adapt to the changes, the relationship may be affected. That's why it's helpful to reflect not only on your friend's actions but on your own as well.
You may assume that your friend knows you care, but sometimes people need to hear it loud and clear. If your friend is pulling away from you and refusing to make up, let them know how much they mean to you. You can tell them how you feel in person or you might consider writing your thoughts down on paper. If you're not sure where to start, try saying or writing something like, "I haven't told you in a while, but I really care about you," "You are an important person in my life," or "Your friendship means a lot to me." If you send your friend a letter or email, be sure to include a suggestion to meet up and work through your problems together in person.
After you have tried to call, write, and talk to your friend, you might be forced to step away for a bit (and that's okay). Your friend may take longer to move on from the situation than you. If you value the friendship and hope to be friends again one day, tell your friend that. Leave the lines of communication open so they feel they can initiate a conversation when they are ready. You might try saying, "I want you to know I am here when you are ready to talk about this," or "I'm sorry for the way things have turned out with us, but I still consider you a good friend and hope we can go back to being close. I am here whenever you want to call me."
At this point, you've done all you can do to reach out and try working towards a solution. If your friend still isn't talking to you because they're mad or not ready to move forward, all you can do is wait and be there for them when they're ready.
Of course we fight, but we always make up. my best friend was my old school classmate, she was taller than me and she had so together after school, we never have arguments because we are best friend. Writing practicePenpal letter.