You call this love? throwing dead flowers the day that you profess to protect me and take care of my felicity? Celebrate the distant future and then bury it?.
Love And Romance
By Asha Das|
We’ve all heard the saying, marry in haste, repent in leisure. Being in love is a wonderful thing, but say it too soon and you could scare away the other person; say it too late, and you could have missed the opportunity.
When to say I love you is a tricky question, and one of the most important relationship tips experts will give you is that you must profess your love at the right time. Today’s world is fast and furious, and one minute your relationship status could change from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ to ‘it’s complicated’! There’s no hiding your relationship from the gaze of others, so be careful about professing your love.
However, when it comes to romance, we all have the same dreams of happily ever after and perfect families bathed in a glow of light. Even though we now take the time to get an education, embark on a career, and nurture our personal growth, before we commit to a significant other, we still make the same mistakes and need smarter relationship tips to cope with the pressures of modern lifestyle.
BEST PLACES TO PROPOSE YOUR SWEETHEART
Here are some relationship tips to help you figure out when it’s right.
There’s no going back: It’s one of the important relationship tips to remember that a commitment is a commitment. Once you have declared your love, you and the person you love cannot rewind the clock and unsay the words. So, consider carefully when to say I love you.
Say it when you’re certain: Do some soul searching to understand your own feelings. No amount of relationship tips will be effective if your feelings are not genuine. Weigh your own priorities. Do you have other commitments? Sometimes, we fall in love with the idea of love, rather than with the person.
Read the other person: You know the person you love is deeply attracted to you, but how do you know he loves you? Look for telltale signs. If he’s considerate about your health and safety, takes the initiative to meet or call, expresses openly that he misses being with you, he has developed an emotional bond.
Gauge the affection: As we consider relationship tips, try to understand if you’re receiving genuine affection or just physical interest from the other person. Do he/she wants to spend time doing things with you – talking, travelling, sharing interests – and discuss your future together?
Ask a friend to help: What if you’ve been getting loving vibes from someone, but are not quite sure of his real feelings? Get one of your mutual friends to sound out the other person about his feelings so that you can decide when to say I love you.
Speak up: Not confessing your feelings will help no one. If you think there is a chance of happiness together, that is when to say I love you. If the other person reciprocates, good, if not, you will get closure and eventually, you would be able to move on with your life.
Make it memorable: If you’re certain of each other, when you do profess your love, make it a moment to remember. Pick a romantic locale or a special occasion. Pick a place or a moment that has special significance for the two of you, like the first time you met.
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How to Find, Keep, and Understand Your Soul Mate Dsheray Richards A woman fantasizes about her man professing his love to her, whispering sweet.
They say when you know, you know. Well, that seems like total BS. For most of us, falling in love is not completely intuitive. People come to unions with a lot of stuff that makes it tricky to decipher if what they're feeling is the real deal, or if what their partner is expressing means they feel it, too. Stuff like emotional baggage, insecurities, biases, agendas, and timelines all make that natural notion that "you just know" seem entirely cliched. You might need some assistance in sorting out the signs you're truly in love.
The truth is, it is tricky for anyone to figure that out (even the experts), because the cues of being in love are mostly nonverbal. "Actions speak louder than words, as they say. Showing being in love must accompany any words, because no matter what people say, if they don't manifest their love in their behaviors, the words are hollow," says Dr. Grant H. Brenner, MD, psychiatrist, consultant, and psychoanalyst in NYC.
It makes sense that words alone don't amount to much. It doesn't take much effort to say something, then again, but behavior doesn't always take much effort on its own. The way we act is largely based on our personality. Say your last fling was very into PDA, but your current, more serious partner never holds your hand in public... that's a confusing non-verbal message. And in that case, just because your current partner isn't into bigger displays of affection, doesn't mean they don't love you.
Sometimes, words are usually a lot easier for some people to express their love and for us to understand. So what do you and your partner say to each other that might hint to the big L word? There are some questions and statements to listen up for.
When people are in love, they want to take care of one another. Offering support, even if that support is just listening, is something we do for the people we care about. "Good conversations are a good sign of being in love. Conversations which show a level of mutual give-and-take," says Dr. Brenner. Opening your ears is akin to opening your heart.
Bestselling author and relationship expert Susan Winter explains that telling someone what you have feels right means that "the connection with your partner is effortless." That doesn't mean it has to be all bliss, all the time, though. "True, there are challenges, but those challenges are met with conflict resolution," she says.
Being in love doesn't mean you never fight. Quite the opposite, in fact. It means you have conflicts but find a way to work past them, together. "You both have a way of diffusing each other and getting into negotiated brainstorming as an effective means to the solution of your problem," Winter says. "You can’t stay mad at each other. At the end of the day, there is more love than there is resentment or animosity."
A willingness and desire to share yourself with your partner is a sign that you are not afraid to be vulnerable around them. The comfort expressed in your and your partner's ability to be vulnerable says a lot about how committed you both are to the relationship.
Love takes time. If the feelings come too quickly, it is best to proceed with caution. "When someone tells you they love you really soon or quickly in a relationship, it's worth being cautious," says Joanne Davila, PhD. "The issue is this — how can you really love someone unless you really know them?" Instead of waiting to say or hear those three sought-after words, taking an interest in wanting to learn about each other is way more powerful.
"You only get to know someone over time, as you see how they behave and treat you in different situations, particularly stressful or difficult situations," says Davila. A desire to understand your partner means that your interest in them is deep and your intentions pure.
Getting out the words "I love you" can be scary. In spite of that, your partner saying "I like you," while you feel the other L word can feel like a huge blow. Rest assured, though, that it could be a good thing.
"One way to know that you are truly in love is if you like the person," says Davila. "It's one thing to profess your love from a passionate place — we all know that feeling — but it's more important to actually like the person you're in love with."
Going doe-eyed for someone makes us a little bit blind, but Davila points out that the important things that matter in a relationship are feelings of respect, safety, and meeting each other's needs. "These are the things that make us genuinely like one another," she explains.
What you say and what you do are super intertwined when it comes to matters of the heart. In other words, talk the talk, but also, walk the walk. It'll bring you one step closer to spotting true love.
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Do you have an immediate visceral reaction when you see other people’s Facebook pages that include romantic photos or professions of love for the person’s partner? A group of psychologists just published a systematic study of the impressions people make with the relationship status, pictures, and talk about their romantic partners that they post on Facebook.
In the key study, more than 100 undergraduates were shown 24 different Facebook profiles, 12 of men and 12 of women. In the profiles, the Facebook users:
The people who were shown the Facebook profiles were asked two kinds of questions: (1) what was their guess about the quality of the user’s romantic relationship? And (2) how much did they like the user?
The undergraduates in this study showed the typical prejudice against single people that my colleagues and I, and many others, have found in our research: They said they liked the Facebook users who said they were in a romantic relationship better than the ones who said nothing about their romantic relationship status. Remember, the participants do not know the people they are rating. Based just on the fact that some of them say they are in a romantic relationship and others do not, they decide that they like the ones in a relationship better. It is another example of singlism.
So what conclusions did people draw about the actual qualities of users’ romantic relationships based on what they posted? For users who said they were in a romantic relationship, other people thought they probably had a higher quality relationship if they posted a picture of them as a couple than if they didn’t. (Results of another study suggested that they may have been right about that.) They also thought that users who said that they loved their romantic partners probably had better relationships than those who never said anything about that.
When it came to actually liking the people who posted those professions of love for their partners, it was a different story. The Facebook users who were liked the least were the ones who posted the most profuse expressions of love (such as the one mentioned above, “Pining away for Jordan…I just love you so much I can’t stand it!”). The people on Facebook who were liked the most were the ones who said nothing at all about their feelings for their romantic partner.
Reference: Emery, L. F., Muise, A., Alpert, E., & Le, B. (2015). Do we look happy? Perceptions of romantic relationship quality on Facebook. Personal Relationships 22, 1-7.
Couple in love photo available from Shutterstock
Profess definition is - to receive formally into a religious community following a novitiate by acceptance of the 1: to declare openly He professed his love.
50 Cent is legendary for being messy on Instagram. Every time he posts or hops in someone’s comments, you know the pot will be stirred.
Most recently, Fif was scrolling his feed and saw a Jill Scott post about toting a weapon as a form of security and decided himself to get the strap and leap into the comment section.
“Women wanna feel and be safe,” she wrote under a pic of her standing next to a security guard. “Sometimes you can just go where safety/security is. Unfortunately, other times, you must focus on center mass until the clip is empty. #metaphorbutnotreally ALSO I hate when the chick, in the movie, gets a chance to stop her assailant once and for all but only knocks him out and runs.”
“Ok now Jill I think I’m in Love wit you,” the Queens rapper commented. “You are low key crazy as a m****r f****r hun ?”
“More than a lil bit in this crazy society but @50cent, nobody has a bigger earned **** than you. Shaka Zulu,” she replied.
And then Erykah Badu jumped in and it got even more messy.
“UN safe,” she commented. Of course, 50 saw that and well, things went completely out of control from there.
“Oh no what are you doing here? This must be the danger zone. Your s**t so good n****s don’t even know where they are after they f**k wit you.”
SMH. 50 Cent doesn’t, and will never have, any chill. Ever. Thankfully, Erykah left that last comment be.
Photo: Prince Williams/Wireimage and Jesse Grant/Getty Images
"One way to know that you are truly in love is if you like the person," says Davila. " It's one thing to profess your love from a passionate place.