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You don t know how special you are

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You don t know how special you are
May 21, 2019 1st Anniversary Wishes 1 comment

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Want to improve the way you express your deep love for someone you love dearly? Get better at expressing how you feel with these deep love quotes.

Sometimes it’s difficult for you to find the right words, but these I love you quotes will help you find the perfect words for that special person in your life.

And it certainly goes without saying that love is a truly incredible feeling.

It is one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. The ability to have an affectionate and intimate connection with another person is one of the most important things there is in life.

There are many ways in which we express, or want to express, our love for another.

We have so many thoughts and emotions, but many of us struggle to put them into words.

But fear not! For I am here to help you find just the right words to let that special someone know the depth of your feelings for them.

Please read below for wise and beautiful deep love quotes, deep love sayings, and deep love proverbs from individuals, who not only understood the many meanings of love, but had some very eloquent ways of sharing what is in their hearts and minds.

The best inspirational deep love quotes to help you express how you feel

1.) “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.” – Bill Wilson

2.) “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”— James Baldwin

3.) “You have found true love when you realize that you want to wake up beside your love every morning even when you have your differences.” – Unknown

4.) “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”— Lucille Ball

5.) “I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

6.) “You are the source of my joy, the center of my world and the whole of my heart.” – Unknown

7.) “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” — Morrie Schwartz

8.) “You are nothing short of my everything.” – Unknown

9.) “My six word love story: I can’t imagine life without you.” – Anonymous

I love you quotes for him or her

10.) “You are the last thought in my mind before I drift off to sleep and the first thought when I wake up each morning.” – Unknown

11.) “Love is a friendship set to music.”— Joseph Campbell

12.) “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” – Roy Croft

13.) “I went to sleep last night with a smile because I knew I’d be dreaming of you… but I woke up this morning with a smile because you weren’t a dream.” – Unknown

14.) “Everywhere I look I am reminded of your love. You are my world.” – Unknown

15.) “We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.”— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

16.) “You are every reason, every hope and every dream I’ve ever had.” – Nicolas Sparks

17.) “Love is not about how many days, weeks or months you’ve been together, it’s all about how much you love each other every day.” – Unknown

Sweet deep love quotes from the heart

18.) “When we are in love we seem to ourselves quite different from what we were before.”— Blaise Pascal

19.) “I love you for all that you are, all that you have been and all that you will be.” – Unknown

20.) “If I know what love is, it is because of you.” – Hermann Hesse

21.) “The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.”— Gilbert K. Chesterton

22.) “You are my paradise and I would happily get stranded on you for a lifetime.” – Unknown

23.) “I’ve fallen in love many times…always with you.” – Unknown

24.) “Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.”— Lao Tzu

25.) “My heart is perfect because you are in it.”– Unknown

27.) “This morning I awoke and was reminded of the preciousness of life. I realized I should express my gratitude to those who are so very important to me. Thank you for all you have done and have a great day!” – Unknown

28.) “I can’t stop thinking about you, today… tomorrow… always.” – Unknown

I love you quotes to express how you feel

29.) “You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness.” — Julia Roberts

30.) “In this crazy world, full of change and chaos, there is one thing of which I am certain, one thing which does not change: my love for you.” – Unknown

31.) “Thank you for always being my rainbow after the storm.” – Unknown

32.) “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” — Plato

33.) “If I did anything right in my life it was when I gave my heart to you.” – Unknown

34.) “I am so totally, completely, overwhelmingly, eye-poppingly, life-changingly, spectacularly, passionately, deliciously in love with you.” – Unknown

35.) “The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” — Helen Keller

36.) “This morning I awoke and was reminded of the preciousness of life. I realized I should express my gratitude to those who are so very important to me. Thank you for all you have done and have a great day!” – Unknown

37.) “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” — Oscar Wilde

Beautiful deep love quotes

38.) “I may not be your first date, kiss or love…but I want to be your last everything.” – Unknown

39.) “Thank you for going on this journey through life with me. There is nobody else who I would want by my side but you my angel.” – Unknown

40.) “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.” — Khalil Gibran

41.) “I’ll never ask you to change for me because you are perfect just the way you are.” – Unknown

42.) “The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” — Henry Miller

43.) “When I wake up in the morning, I am thinking of you. When I go to sleep at night, I am thinking of you. And all those hours in between, I think of us.” – Unknown

44.) “And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, “Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.” – Unknown

45.) “Together with you is my favorite place to be.” – Unknown

46.) “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” — Oprah Winfrey

47.) “I am very indecisive and always have trouble picking my favorite anything. But, without a doubt, you are my favorite everything.” – Unknown

48.) “I still fall in love with you every day!” – Unknown

49.) “You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss

50.) “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

Deep love quotes for him from the heart

51.) “To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.” – Valerie Lombardo

52.) “A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.” – Max Muller

53.) I could never say how much I like you, and just how special you are to me. But I can say that my world is all smiles whenever I am with you. I love you a lot. – Unknown

54.) I never could have accomplished what I have today without the love I feel from you! – Unknown

55.) “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride.” – Pablo Neruda

I love you quotes straight from the heart

56.) “My love for you is past the mind, beyond my heart, and into my soul.” – Boris Kodjoe

57.) I don’t need paradise because I found you. I don’t need dreams because I already have you. – Unknown

58.) If I know what love is, it is because of you. – Hermann Hesse

59.) I don’t want to lose you in my life. You are the stars in my sky and the sun to my world. You are the reason I survive.

60.) Here is my heart, accept it please because I am so clumsy and I am afraid I just might lose it.

61.) You are the last thought in my mind before I drift off to sleep and the first thought when I wake up each morning.

62.) Who would have thought that I would fall for the most beautiful person in this world?

63.) “My heart is and always will be yours.” – Jane Austen

Deep love quotes for her

64.) “I love making you laugh because for those few seconds, I made you happy and seeing you happy, it makes me happy too.”

65.) It was the way you laughed, I knew I wanted that in my life. – R. M. Drake

66.) If I did anything right in my life, it was when I gave my heart to you.

67.) I will never be perfect for you, but I will always imperfectly try to be. – Atticus

68.) “I love you right up to the moon—and back.” – Sam McBratney

69.) “So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” – Paulo Coelho

70.) “I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.” – Silver Linings Playbook

Beautiful deep love quotes that will bring you both closer

71.) I wish that you were here or I were there or we were together anywhere.

72.) “If I had to dream up the perfect woman, she wouldn’t even come close to you.” ­– Boy Meets World

73.) Sometimes I look at you and I wonder how I got to be so damn lucky.

74.) “Sometimes I think,
I need a spare heart to feel
all the things I feel.” ― Sanober Khan

75.) “Love is supposed to be based on trust, and trust on love, it’s something rare and beautiful when people can confide in each other without fearing what the other person will think.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri

76.) “A truly sensual woman is the kind of woman only a man with a deep soul can intoxicate and satiate.” ― Lebo Grand

77.) Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away. – Elbert Hubbard

78.) What I write comes from a place of deep love, and a deep understanding of all kinds of otherness. – Jacqueline Woodson

79.) There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

80.) “Love understands love; it needs no talk.” – Francis Havergal

Deep love quotes and sayings

81.) “Love asks me no questions, and gives me endless support.” – William Shakespeare

82.) “The beautiful thing about love is that you just need to plant it once and nurture it and it shall bloom into blossoms that would cover the valleys.” – Hermann J. Steinherr

83.) “The beauty of your life is predicated on the richness of your sensuality.” ― Lebo Grand

84.) “One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love!” – Sophocles

85.) “I have no special gift. With deep love, I give what I have.” ― Debasish Mridha

86.) “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

87.) “I knew why love was always described with eternity. A single minute stretched out for lifetimes.” ― Shannon A. Thompson

88.) “Love is breathing each other with all madness” ― Seema Gupta

89.) “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

90.) “Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart.” – Lamartine

More deep love quotes to expressing your feelings

91.) “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” ― William Shakespeare

92.) “When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.” ― Jess C. Scott

93.) “Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.” ― Nicholas Sparks

94.) “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” ― Paulo Coelho

95.) “We love the things we love for what they are.” ― Robert Frost

96.) “Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.” ― Zelda Fitzgerald

97.) “Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”― Nicole Krauss

98.) “We loved with a love that was more than love.” ― Edgar Allen Poe

99.) “I have decided to stick to love…Hate is too great a burden to bear.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

100.) “Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that’s beautiful.” ― Milan Kundera

101.) “You are, and always have been, my dream.”― Nicholas Sparks

102.) “If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.”― Haruki Murakami

103.) “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

104.) “Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”― Ursula K. Le Guin

105.) “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”― Joan Crawford

Which of these deep love quotes was your favorite?

Love is the most precious thing in the universe. Loving someone and having them love you back is the most important thing in life.

Hopefully, these sweet deep love quotes have provided you with some inspiration to express your feelings to the love of your life. Use them as a guide, or pick a favorite.

No matter what, be inspired, be open, and express the true and endearing affection you have for your significant other. You will be thankful you did.

Did you enjoy these deep love quotes? Which of these I love you quotes was your favorite? Tell us in the comment section below.

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250 of the Best Birthday Messages to Make Someone’s Day Special

you don t know how special you are

“If you don’t ask, the answer is already no.”

What does it take to ask for what you want—and then get it? There seems to be a magical art behind creating a great ask, and we all know stories of people who seem to get exactly what they want whenever they ask. Magicians who bend and will the world to their ways. Why is this? What are they doing that no one else seems to be doing? How do they ask for what they want and seem to get it every time?

Culturally, it’s not always the norm to ask directly for what you want—or we do a terrible job of it (and women are worse, according to the New York Times). Instead os specifying what we want, we hem and haw about ideas, often walking away from great conversations without clearly articulating our message, what we hope to achieve, and how the other person can directly help us.

Creating a great ask (and learning the ability to say no) are two skills that successful people learn how to do really well. In the past decade, some of the things I’ve asked for and negotiated for include: asking for multiple raises and getting them consistently, negotiating salary bumps of 20% or more (with credit to Ramit Sethi’s persuasion tactics), winning over $50,000 in scholarships (competitions and essays were involved), and recently raised $33,000 for charity: water by promising to swim naked from Alcatraz to San Francisco if we raised enough money.

In addition, I’ve helped clients understand persuasion tactics and develop scripts to ask for what they want, including the delicate art of deciding to do it anyways and asking for forgiveness rather than permission. Several people asked me to collect my notes on how to ask and share them publicly. Here are my top tips for creating a great ask—in order to get more of what you want.

The art of asking for what you want: Part 1: You have to actually ask.

1. First, know what you want. This is an all-too-obvious step that’s often overlooked.Often it’s not always clear to you (or others) what it is, exactly, that you’re in need of. The more clarity you can have about what you want, the better. Take the time to learn, figure out, or discover exactly what you want. Once you know what you want ($1M in funding, a date with a lady, a new bookshelf, a corner grocery store), it’s easier to ask for it.

2. Ground yourself in why you’re doing what you’re doing. Start from the heart center: before I ask others to join or respond, I check in with myself, asking with my heart and mind and body, making sure this is what I want and that it resonates with who I am and what I stand for.

Is this something that I want to do, and want to do deeply? Is this something I stand for and believe in?

If you don’t want it at the center of your core, ask yourself why you’re going after it. If you do want it, ask yourself what you’d be willing to do for this. Much of my work is contingent on confidence and alignment with the programs I’m creating. If and when I draft an email that doesn’t “feel right” or my intuition tells me is coming from a place of loneliness, desperation, or need—I pause on the email and draft it a few other ways.When I circle back and remember why I’m doing what I’m doing, the words come more easily.

Amanda Palmer, in the highly watched (and just as readily criticized) TED talk, speaks of the vulnerability that is required in asking for what you want. To ask for something is human; to want something and ask someone else for itrequires a connection.

“Through the very act of asking people, I connected with them. And when you connect with them, people want to help you. It’s kind of counterintuitive for a lot of artists — they don’t want to ask for things. It’s not easy to ask. … Asking makes you vulnerable.”

— Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking

3. You have to actually ASK for what you want. It sounds so simple to write this, and almost insanely easy advice. But there are too many people who do not ask for what they want. They’ll tell you a story, email you to say hello, spend hours talking in circles about their idea, hedge and hum about a faint aspect of their idea—and somehow hope amongst all the befuddlement that somehow the other person they are talking to will be able figure out what is is you want and help you solve your problem.

In order to get what you want, you have to ask for it.

4. Be direct, clear, and specific about what you want.Make it ridiculously clear what you’re asking for. Be direct about what you want, who it’s from, and when you need it, and what a desired outcome looks like. The more specific and direct you can be, the better.

  • Define the problem. What are you trying to solve?
  • Specify what it is, exactly, that you want. What materials, processes, steps, pieces, or people are involved to solve it? Is this made abundantly clear–and easier to read than an IKEA assembly manual?
  • Outline how much time, energy, money, or commitment you think it will take. Be clear about what the person will have to do to fulfill the request. If it’s a sale, specify when, where, and how they can get what you’re asking them to by. There’s nothing like deciding you want something and realizing that the person who invited you didn’t put a “buy here” button on their website.
  • Be direct. Put the ask up front and early, and again in the close of the message.

5. Be selective and targeted about who you ask. The more specific you can be about WHO you ask, the better. Asking everyone in your network is bound to get you a bunch of silence in our over-connected world, or active unsubscribes and un-follows across your various platforms. It’s better to ask three people who are very well equipped to answer your query than 15 people who aren’t interested at all.

Do not send your email to your entire contact list. People in Boulder have no interest in the program you’re teaching in San Francisco (unless, perhaps, it’s a digital class). The more specific you can get about WHO should be receiving the message, the better. One direct ask that results in a yes is better than asking fifty people who don’t respond (and spamming their inboxes).

This can be far more work than it sounds. When I craft campaign emails and fundraising emails, I’ll sit and pour through my contact database and customize a list of 20, 80, 100, 200, or 300 people that I think would actually be interested in my project and that I feel comfortable emailing. Sometimes I goof and send people too many messages, but thankfully most of my friends and colleagues have been forgiving and kind about the messages I’ve sent (and say no when they want to). I’ll craft 10 different versions of emails to go to small sub-groups of twenty people, each group carefully constructed based on who knows who; what the question is; what the story lead is; and how I’m framing the ask.

6. Use social proof by creating micro-groups and mini-masterminds.When you email a small enough group, the presence of one initial response often prompts others to respond as well—creating the inertia of ongoing conversation rather than having to circle back and bother more people. When I email a group of five people that I highly respect and ask them to join a conversation, I try to include someone that I know is great at responding quickly. This generates an ongoing conversation.

When the group is small enough, the conversation becomes private and personal enough that it’s like a micro-mastermind group with content rich enough to be worth thousands of dollars. Sometimes after an day on a message thread, people have written back to me privately and said, “this advice is worth gold—thank you so much for including me in this group. I learned so much!”

An example that stitches these all together:

A while ago I ran into a problem with a particular type of client that I was having trouble closing—and instead I ended up spending weeks in back-and-forth emails continuing to describe the product instead of making the sale (and ideally directing my correspondent to a solution to his problem). I couldn’t figure out if this was a dead-end lead, or if my writing was generating the excessive conversations.

I thought—why don’t I ask a few of my successful business friends for advice?

I thought closely about who might be a good person to answer the question, directed an email at three people, copied each of them on a single email, and wrote the following request:

A sample script for asking a mini-team of experts for help with a problem:

Dear John, Susie, and Rob:

I hope you’re well. I’m having a pinch point in my client pipeline and I’m looking for some feedback—and I think you’re the perfect person to help me out because I’m pretty sure you’re a pro at dealing with this type of client request in your business.

This email will probably take you about 10-15 minutes to read and respond,and I’d be incredibly grateful for your straight-up advice. I’m predicting that you know exactly how to deal with this problem, which is why I’m contacting each of you.

If any of you are swamped today or in the middle of something that needs your attention, feel free to delete this email or send a quick “so sorry, can’t,” so I know not to bother you again. Ideally, you’ll know a great resource (a book or link) that answers this problem and can think through this quickly with me. Many thanks for your brilliance in advance.

Here’s the situation: … I’d like to come up with a great response that changes the answer I’m getting (below) into an answer that converts into a sale. This email chain below is a typical one for me … (and here you continue to describe the email you get and copy, exactly, the messages you get and the emails you’ve sent previously.)

In summary: when I ask people for help, I select one or a few targeted people to reach out to, I define the problem, outline what I’d like them to help me with or what I’d like them to do for me, and tell them how much time I think it should take, and I give them enough information to make it easy to answer. As a courtesy, I also like to let folks opt-out if they’re in a busy point in their lives.


Part Two: How many times should you ask?

7. Make sure you ask in multiple ways and in multiple places—show up across multiple platforms customized for different individuals. Every time I launch a program, offering, or class, I make sure to send my “ask” into the universe in a number of different ways.

It’s not enough to create something and wait for people to show up. Both before and after you make your product or offering, you need to invite people to come take a look, to review it, to purchase it, and to see what you have to share. Without asking people to buy your product, it’s like walking into an empty room, filling a keg with beer, and not telling anyone you’ve got beer behind those brick walls. Unless you put a sign on the door, distribute flyers in all the neighborhood mailboxes, and put a sign out front with free beer coupons for the first 100 customers, no one will know that there’s a keg full of delicious goods inside of that brick house.

You need to show up where the people who have what you want are already playing, paying, or talking.

“It’s not enough to create something and wait for people to show up. You need to tell them about it.” (Tweet this!)

Put your offering or request in several (targeted) places. Show up in person, on email, in newsletters, on twitter, on Facebook, and in any other place where people who want what you have—or can give you what you want—already spend time. Further, you’ve got to ask in a number of different ways.

Next, send personalized requests or invitations on a 1:1 basis to people you think would be great early adopters, fans, or supporters. Tell people what you’ve been up to. Start with your own network, no matter how big or small, and ask them to come show up. An email to ten friends and family members asking for support is more meaningful initially than spamming your entire Facebook friend list and showing that you’ve invited 500 people and only 2 of them RSVP’ed.

8. Ask multiple times.Do not be afraid to ask someone more than once for something.

Sometimes I get nervous that I’m repeating myself. Remember that what you hear is not what they hear.The last time thatI got nervous that I was talking incessantly about my project for charity: water, I started to get sick of my own voice and assumed everyone else was tired of hearing about the project, too. In reality, you’re only talking to each person once or twice, even though you yourself have had the same conversation hundreds of times. Keep going and remember that each time you ask, the person on the other end may be hearing you for the first or second time only— and every time you ask, you increase your chances of getting what you want.

Additionally, people generally need to see your ideas 4-7 times before they really familiarize themselves with it. Multiple messages are okay. If you send one email and no one responds, you might need to send another message in two weeks’ time, after people have had a chance to see it and hear about it. Just because you are talking about it all the time does not mean that the other person hears or sees everything you’re saying.

It’s okay to ask more than once. I imagine that some folks are scrolling their iPhones while on the toilet, reading in line, and not always ready to act or do something at the moment and place where they receive your message. In a mobile world, people are getting messages while they are already busy—out shopping, eating, running errands, or at work. They want to donate or buy, but forget. Following up with a second ask is certainly fine.

And if you create a great story—and you sweep people up in your project, they will rally behind you and want to know how the campaign is doing, and they want to know when you win. People love a good story. The additional messages aren’t a nuisance if they’re well-crafted—they’re bringing people into the story and along for the ride. Share your enthusiasm with them.

9. Try asking EVERYONE. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone and strike up conversations with strangers. Talk to your taxi cab driver, your bus driver, your school teacher, your yoga instructor.Tell your story like it’s the only story you have. (Note: this differs from targeted asks, above, because you’re not sending a blanket email to everyone that’s non-specific. This time, every person you meet should be someone you can talk to about your project and process, and each person should get a targeted message or a variant of a custom message).

When I was on a mission to raise money for charity: water, I asked my bus driver, my taxi driver, the brunch group, people at my swim, the coffee barista, and every friend I knew to participate. I ended up having one of my Lyft drivers laughing so hard that he gave me cash straight out and volunteered to graffiti-paint my body for the swim.

You. Must. Ask. Everyone.

10. Practice over and over and over again.Every small ask is practicing for a bigger ask. Each email and correspondence is an opportunity to practice. In college, my swim coach set us out on missions to experiment with our psychological edges—and in one experiment, we had to ask for a free lunch. It was awkward. Many people said no. And some people said yes. Each time, we practice asking for unusual things.Ask until you get a yes answer. Learn from each iteration.

11. Follow up.Ask. Do what you say you’re going to do. Say thank you. If you want to stand out, ask for what you want, follow up, and follow through.Most people don’t do this.


Part Three: The psychology of decision making, why touch matters, and considering context.

12. Be audacious.Much like Jia Jiang’s experiment with hundreds of rejections (where he set out to get used to the idea of rejection by asking for ridiculous things), he found that the more he asked, the easier it got to ask for what he wanted. As a bonus? People said yes. He ended up driving a police car, flying a helicopter, and dozens of other crazy adventures simply because he walked up to people and had the audacity to ask.

13. Keep it simple. Put the ask on the table. Make it easy to find. Make your wishes known.

  • Give alternatives if you’d like, but stick to two, maximum three. Sometimes it’s easier for people to say yes to one of two options rather than having to choose between many. Stick to just one or two things.
  • Start with small wins.Ask incrementally for specific, small things. Get a foot in the door. Don’t ask for the big thing until you’ve established rapport, responsibility and demonstrated follow-through with someone.

14. Pay attention to context and surrounding cues. People make decisions based on their physical surroundings–much more than they would probably believe. Of all the senses, touch is one of the most important contextual cues. Researchers think this is because we develop our sense of touch first, as infants. According to The Economist, on decision-making, “research shows that our choices can depend on whether we are holding something heavy or light,” and “it seems our minds take many physical metaphors (such as heavy or light, soft or hard) literally.” Bring someone a warm beverage and have them sit on a hard chair, and see what happens with your negotiation or ask.

15. Ask at the right time: understand how (and when) people make decisions. If you are asking for something complicated and difficult, ask before the well of will-power is depleted. People grow weary of making decisions throughout a days’ time, and make better choices (or are willing to decide at all) in the morning, or when they are fresh (see more on decision fatigue in Psychology Today). In the evening, you’re more likely to get a “no” as a response if the person you’re asking is tired and worn out from a long day. 

16. Be confident in how you ask.Make a statement, hone your pitch, and then put a clear request in at the end.

If it’s a verbal ask, don’t let your voice trail off at the end. Practice body and vocal confidence by standing tall, shoulders back, and with your head up in a controlled, confident stance. If you don’t feel confident about what you’re asking, chances are you need to check in and make sure that you believe in your product or offering, and you need more practice.

This is a great time to fake it until you make it.

17. Master the Pause. When you ask, look the the other person in the eye. And—this is the most important part—then shut the fuck up. Ask, simply, and then wait. Don’t throw a bunch of garbage words into the space between your ask and the person’s response. The waiting part—that silence—is deafening, but critical.

Give people space to consider what you said and respond thoughtfully before jumping in to fill the silent space with more words. Make a simple ask, and wait. Let them make the next move. Much like kissing a guy (or gal) for the first time, the sweet spot is in the pause and the time where the two parties consider each other.

If you speak up too quickly, you can push them into a space of no.

Body language is critical for this step. Assume a positive stance (feet hip-distance apart, casual, standing still);and put your hands in a neutral position (by your sides or with both hands touching in front of you, loosely). Keep your chin up and your heart space open. Smile confidently and look them in the eye.

Too many people shoot themselves in the foot by asking for what they want and then immediately layering in a couched response that assumes the person on the other side doesn’t want what you’re offering.

Assume that the person you’re asking would be delighted to help you, has exactly what you need or wants precisely what you’re offering, and that they’ve just been waiting for you to ask them.

Surprisingly, I’ve had multiple encounters where people write (or say) in response, “Sure! That sounds great—I’ve actually been looking for a writing workshop, thanks for thinking of me,” or “Absolutely, I’d love to help—I know just the right person, want me to set up an introduction?”

Yes, yes I would.

It’s surprising how much we don’t get when we don’t give people the opportunity to help.

An ask is a connection. It’s not about having another person go to great lengths for you. It’s about creating a scenario where someone who wants to give can match with what you want.

“Asking is about connection. Create a space where people can give and you can receive (and vice versa).” (Tweet this!) 


Part Four: Avoid terrible asks, be kind, and make sure you say thank you.

18. Avoid terrible, generic, vague asks.

I say no to many of the requests for coffeeand lunch dates that come my way—although not always—largely when I’m not sure if I can be useful or if I already know that I need to dedicate that limited time to my existing projects and processes.

The worst type of ask is when someone says “I’d love to pick your brain and get your (generic) advice—do you have time to have dinner or get together one day?”

This is non-specific, non-limited, non-structured, and I’m not sure what I can help with or how I can be useful. Chances are that I’ve already answered some of the basic questions in one of the hundreds of essays I’ve written before, or that I can recommend a book or a process that can be helpful and easily sent over in a minute—if I knew the nature of their problem. Lastly, I want to know why it is that I, specifically, am useful–what is it about me that can help you more than anyone else?

When I get these emails, my reaction is to run and hide and shout, NO, NO, NO!

Luckily, I don’t say that. Instead, I write back and ask for a bit of clarification. It’s never a problem to ask people to do a bit more work before you help them. Here are two great scripts for saying no—and helping someone focus their ask:


A sample script for saying no to nonspecific requests for your time:

There are two great ways to respond to nonspecific requests for your time:

Question 1:“Can I ask you a quick question over lunch and pick your brain?”

Answer: “If it’s a quick question, send it my way right now and I’ll answer it quickly! If it’s a longer conversation you want to have, my lunch hours are reserved for clients right now, so you can book time with me here [insert link to your consulting page].” (Hat tip to Marie Forleo and Laura Roeder for this gem.)

Question 2: The vague “I need help and I’d love your advice … ” that generally ends with an ellipses “…”

Answer: “Hey–Thanks for your email. The more specific you can be in your question, the easier it will be for me to help you. Would you put together a list of specific questions you’d like to have answered and I’ll see if I can pull together a quick set of resources and links or point you to the right place?”

To be clear: I’m more than happy to answer questions that are specific, clear, and direct. When people email me a question like this:

“Hey Sarah, I loved the book you mentioned at the Writer’s Workshop on Storytelling and the Hero’s Journey, but I forget the name of the title. Mind sending it to me again?”

It’s EASY to answer. In fact, I find these questions so useful that I typically develop resource pages for specific topics (like storytelling), along with a custom ‘Canned Response’ template in my Gmail system so I can just drop a response in an email and fire it over quickly. I love questions that are easy to answer and quick to send over, and create a lot of value for the recipient.

And as a side note: when people ask you questions, it’s a great clue into what people think you’re good at and what services people want your help answering. I’m grateful for all the emails I get because when I take the time to respond to one, it usually generates a blog post (like this one, in fact), where I can develop a list of resources and tools to share with folks. Even bad emails help me write posts about what NOT to do!


19. Make people feel good about helping.Give people space to be kind and helpful. If you’re awkward, they’re awkward. Believe in what you ask for. Let them know how much it means to you and how helpful it was. 

20. Say thank you.You can never, ever say thank you enough.

And the closer:

21. Don’t be afraid of hearing “no.”We’re in a culture that’s afraid to say no, and conversely—we’re afraid to ask other people for what we want because we’re also afraid to hear the word “no.”

There’s one person who says no to you more than anyone else, however. When you don’t ask, you’re already selecting “no” as the outcome. Each time you hold yourself back from asking for what you want, or you walk away, silently, you’ve already given yourself the answer that you’re afraid of.

“If you don’t ask, the answer is already no.” (Tweet this!)


What about you? Do you have great tips and strategies (or examples) for how to create winning asks? Do you have specific templates or copy that help you create great asks? Write them in comments alongside + I’ll add them to the post.


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Also published on Medium.

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200 Questions to get to know someone

you don t know how special you are

1. Your perspective on yourself is distorted.

Your “self” lies before you like an open book. Just peer inside and read: who you are, your likes and dislikes, your hopes and fears; they are all there, ready to be understood. This notion is popular but is probably completely false! Psychological research shows that we do not have privileged access to who we are. When we try to assess ourselves accurately, we are really poking around in a fog.

Princeton University psychologist Emily Pronin, who specializes in human self-perception and decision making, calls the mistaken belief in privileged access the “introspection illusion.” The way we view ourselves is distorted, but we do not realize it. As a result, our self-image has surprisingly little to do with our actions. For example, we may be absolutely convinced that we are empathetic and generous but still walk right past a homeless person on a cold day.

The reason for this distorted view is quite simple, according to Pronin. Because we do not want to be stingy, arrogant or self-righteous, we assume that we are not any of those things. As evidence, she points to our divergent views of ourselves and others. We have no trouble recognizing how prejudiced or unfair our office colleague acts toward another person. But we do not consider that we could behave in much the same way: because we intend to be morally good, it never occurs to us that we, too, might be prejudiced.

Pronin assessed her thesis in a number of experiments. Among other things, she had her study participants complete a test involving matching faces with personal statements that would supposedly assess their social intelligence. Afterward, some of them were told that they had failed and were asked to name weaknesses in the testing procedure. Although the opinions of the subjects were almost certainly biased (not only had they supposedly failed the test, they were also being asked to critique it), most of the participants said their evaluations were completely objective. It was much the same in judging works of art, although subjects who used a biased strategy for assessing the quality of paintings nonetheless believed that their own judgment was balanced. Pronin argues that we are primed to mask our own biases.

Is the word “introspection” merely a nice metaphor? Could it be that we are not really looking into ourselves, as the Latin root of the word suggests, but producing a flattering self-image that denies the failings that we all have? The research on self-knowledge has yielded much evidence for this conclusion. Although we think we are observing ourselves clearly, our self-image is affected by processes that remain unconscious.

2. Your motives are often a complete mystery to you.

How well do people know themselves? In answering this question, researchers encounter the following problem: to assess a person’s self-image, one would have to know who that person really is. Investigators use a variety of techniques to tackle such questions. For example, they compare the self-assessments of test subjects with the subjects’ behavior in laboratory situations or in everyday life. They may ask other people, such as relatives or friends, to assess subjects as well. And they probe unconscious inclinations using special methods.

To measure unconscious inclinations, psychologists can apply a method known as the implicit association test (IAT), developed in the 1990s by Anthony Greenwald of the University of Washington and his colleagues, to uncover hidden attitudes. Since then, numerous variants have been devised to examine anxiety, impulsiveness and sociability, among other features. The approach assumes that instantaneous reactions require no reflection; as a result, unconscious parts of the personality come to the fore.

Notably, experimenters seek to determine how closely words that are relevant to a person are linked to certain concepts. For example, participants in a study were asked to press a key as quickly as possible when a word that described a characteristic such as extroversion (say, “talkative” or “energetic”) appeared on a screen. They were also asked to press the same key as soon as they saw a word on the screen that related to themselves (such as their own name). They were to press a different key as soon as an introverted characteristic (say, “quiet” or “withdrawn”) appeared or when the word involved someone else. Of course, the words and key combinations were switched over the course of many test runs. If a reaction was quicker when a word associated with the participant followed “extroverted,” for instance, it was assumed that extroversion was probably integral to that person’s self-image.

Such “implicit” self-concepts generally correspond only weakly to assessments of the self that are obtained through questionnaires. The image that people convey in surveys has little to do with their lightning-fast reactions to emotionally laden words. And a person’s implicit self-image is often quite predictive of his or her actual behavior, especially when nervousness or sociability is involved. On the other hand, questionnaires yield better information about such traits as conscientiousness or openness to new experiences. Psychologist Mitja Back of the University of Münster in Germany explains that methods designed to elicit automatic reactions reflect the spontaneous or habitual components of our personality. Conscientiousness and curiosity, on the other hand, require a certain degree of thought and can therefore be assessed more easily through self-reflection.

3. Outward appearances tell people a lot about you.

Much research indicates that our nearest and dearest often see us better than we see ourselves. As psychologist Simine Vazire of the University of California, Davis, has shown, two conditions in particular may enable others to recognize who we really are most readily: First, when they are able to “read” a trait from outward characteristics and, second, when a trait has a clear positive or negative valence (intelligence and creativity are obviously desirable, for instance; dishonesty and egocentricity are not). Our assessments of ourselves most closely match assessments by others when it comes to more neutral characteristics.

The characteristics generally most readable by others are those that strongly affect our behavior. For example, people who are naturally sociable typically like to talk and seek out company; insecurity often manifests in behaviors such as hand-wringing or averting one’s gaze. In contrast, brooding is generally internal, unspooling within the confines of one’s mind.

We are frequently blind to the effect we have on others because we simply do not see our own facial expressions, gestures and body language. I am hardly aware that my blinking eyes indicate stress or that the slump in my posture betrays how heavily something weighs on me. Because it is so difficult to observe ourselves, we must rely on the observations of others, especially those who know us well. It is hard to know who we are unless others let us know how we affect them.

4. Gaining some distance can help you know yourself better.

Keeping a diary, pausing for self-reflection and having probing conversations with others have a long tradition, but whether these methods enable us to know ourselves is hard to tell. In fact, sometimes doing the opposite—such as letting go—is more helpful because it provides some distance. In 2013 Erika Carlson, now at the University of Toronto, reviewed the literature on whether and how mindfulness meditation improves one’s self-knowledge. It helps, she noted, by overcoming two big hurdles: distorted thinking and ego protection. The practice of mindfulness teaches us to allow our thoughts to simply drift by and to identify with them as little as possible. Thoughts, after all, are “only thoughts” and not the absolute truth. Frequently, stepping out of oneself in this way and simply observing what the mind does fosters clarity.

Gaining insight into our unconscious motives can enhance emotional well-being. Oliver C. Schultheiss of Friedrich-Alexander University of Erlangen-Nürnberg in Germany has shown that our sense of well-being tends to grow as our conscious goals and unconscious motives become more aligned or congruent. For example, we should not slave away at a career that gives us money and power if these goals are of little importance to us. But how do we achieve such harmony? By imagining, for example. Try to imagine, as vividly and in as much detail as possible, how things would be if your most fervent wish came true. Would it really make you happier? Often we succumb to the temptation to aim excessively high without taking into account all of the steps and effort necessary to achieve ambitious goals.

5. We too often think we are better at something than we are.

Are you familiar with the Dunning Kruger effect? It holds that the more incompetent people are, the less they are aware of their incompetence. The effect is named after David Dunning of the University of Michigan and Justin Kruger of New York University.

Dunning and Kruger gave their test subjects a series of cognitive tasks and asked them to estimate how well they did. At best, 25 percent of the participants viewed their performance more or less realistically; only some people underestimated themselves. The quarter of subjects who scored worst on the tests really missed the mark, wildly exaggerating their cognitive abilities. Is it possible that boasting and failing are two sides of the same coin?

As the researchers emphasize, their work highlights a general feature of self-perception: each of us tends to overlook our cognitive deficiencies. According to psychologist Adrian Furnham of University College London, the statistical correlation between perceived and actual IQ is, on average, only 0.16—a pretty poor showing, to put it mildly. By comparison, the correlation between height and sex is about 0.7.

So why is the chasm between would-be and actual performance so gaping? Don’t we all have an interest in assessing ourselves realistically? It surely would spare us a great deal of wasted effort and perhaps a few embarrassments. The answer, it seems, is that a moderate inflation of self-esteem has certain benefits. According to a review by psychologists Shelley Taylor of the University of California, Los Angeles, and Jonathon Brown of the University of Washington, rose-colored glasses tend to increase our sense of well-being and our performance. People afflicted by depression, on the other hand, are inclined to be brutally realistic in their self-assessments. An embellished self-image seems to help us weather the ups and downs of daily life.

6. People who tear themselves down experience setbacks more frequently.

Although most of our contemporaries harbor excessively positive views of their honesty or intelligence, some people suffer from the opposite distortion: they belittle themselves and their efforts. Experiencing contempt and belittlement in childhood, often associated with violence and abuse, can trigger this kind of negativity—which, in turn, can limit what people can accomplish, leading to distrust, despair and even suicidal thoughts.

It might seem logical to think that people with a negative self-image would be just the ones who would want to overcompensate. Yet as psychologists working with William Swann of the University of Texas at Austin discovered, many individuals racked with self-doubt seek confirmation of their distorted self-perception. Swann described this phenomenon in a study on contentment in marriage. He asked couples about their own strengths and weaknesses, the ways they felt supported and valued by their partner, and how content they were in the marriage. As expected, those who had a more positive attitude toward themselves found greater satisfaction in their relationship the more they received praise and recognition from their other half. But those who habitually picked at themselves felt safer in their marriage when their partner reflected their negative image back to them. They did not ask for respect or appreciation. On the contrary, they wanted to hear exactly their own view of themselves: “You’re incompetent.”

Swann based his theory of self-verification on these findings. The theory holds that we want others to see us the way we see ourselves. In some cases, people actually provoke others to respond negatively to them so as to prove how worthless they are. This behavior is not necessarily masochism. It is symptomatic of the desire for coherence: if others respond to us in a way that confirms our self-image, then the world is as it should be.

Likewise, people who consider themselves failures will go out of their way not to succeed, contributing actively to their own undoing. They will miss meetings, habitually neglect doing assigned work and get into hot water with the boss. Swann’s approach contradicts Dunning and Kruger’s theory of overestimation. But both camps are probably right: hyperinflated egos are certainly common, but negative self-images are not uncommon.

7. You deceive yourself without realizing it.

According to one influential theory, our tendency for self-deception stems from our desire to impress others. To appear convincing, we ourselves must be convinced of our capabilities and truthfulness. Supporting this theory is the observation that successful manipulators are often quite full of themselves. Good salespeople, for example, exude an enthusiasm that is contagious; conversely, those who doubt themselves generally are not good at sweet talking. Lab research is supportive as well. In one study, participants were offered money if, in an interview, they could convincingly claim to have aced an IQ test. The more effort the candidates put into their performance, the more they themselves came to believe that they had a high IQ, even though their actual scores were more or less average.

Our self-deceptions have been shown to be quite changeable. Often we adapt them flexibly to new situations. This adaptability was demonstrated by Steven A. Sloman of Brown University and his colleagues. Their subjects were asked to move a cursor to a dot on a computer screen as quickly as possible. If the participants were told that above-average skill in this task reflected high intelligence, they immediately concentrated on the task and did better. They did not actually seem to think that they had exerted more effort—which the researchers interpret as evidence of a successful self-deception. On the other hand, if the test subjects were convinced that only dimwits performed well on such stupid tasks, their performance tanked precipitously.

But is self-deception even possible? Can we know something about ourselves on some level without being conscious of it? Absolutely! The experimental evidence involves the following research design: Subjects are played audiotapes of human voices, including their own, and are asked to signal whether they hear themselves. The recognition rate fluctuates depending on the clarity of the audiotapes and the loudness of the background noise. If brain waves are measured at the same time, particular signals in the reading indicate with certainty whether the participants heard their own voice.

Most people are somewhat embarrassed to hear their own voice. In a classic study, Ruben Gur of the University of Pennsylvania and Harold Sackeim of Columbia University made use of this reticence, comparing the statements of test subjects with their brain activity. Lo and behold, the activity frequently signaled, “That’s me!” without subjects’ having overtly identified a voice as their own. Moreover, if the investigators threatened the participants’ self-image—say, by telling them that they had scored miserably on another (irrelevant) test—they were even less apt to recognize their voice. Either way, their brain waves told the real story.

In a more recent study, researchers evaluated performances on a practice test meant to help students assess their own knowledge so that they could fill in gaps. Here subjects were asked to complete as many tasks as possible within a set time limit. Given that the purpose of the practice test was to provide students with information they needed, it made little sense for them to cheat; on the contrary, artificially pumped-up scores could have led them to let their studies slide. Those who tried to improve their scores by using time beyond the allotted completion period would just be hurting themselves.

But many of the volunteers did precisely that. Unconsciously, they simply wanted to look good. Thus, the cheaters explained their running over time by claiming to have been distracted and wanting to make up for lost seconds. Or they said that their fudged outcomes were closer to their “true potential.” Such explanations, according to the researchers, confuse cause and effect, with people incorrectly thinking, “Intelligent people usually do better on tests. So if I manipulate my test score by simply taking a little more time than allowed, I’m one of the smart ones, too.” Conversely, people performed less diligently if they were told that doing well indicated a higher risk for developing schizophrenia. Researchers call this phenomenon diagnostic self-deception.

8. The “true self” is good for you.

Most people believe that they have a solid essential core, a true self. Who they truly are is evinced primarily in their moral values and is relatively stable; other preferences may change, but the true self remains the same. Rebecca Schlegel and Joshua Hicks, both at Texas A&M University, and their colleagues have examined how people’s view of their true self affects their satisfaction with themselves. The researchers asked test subjects to keep a diary about their everyday life. The participants turned out to feel most alienated from themselves when they had done something morally questionable: they felt especially unsure of who they actually were when they had been dishonest or selfish. Experiments have also confirmed an association between the self and morality. When test subjects are reminded of earlier wrongdoing, their surety about themselves takes a hit.

George Newman and Joshua Knobe, both at Yale University, have found that people typically think humans harbor a true self that is virtuous. They presented subjects with case studies of dishonest people, racists, and the like. Participants generally attributed the behavior in the case studies to environmental factors such as a difficult childhood—the real essence of these people must surely have been different. This work shows our tendency to think that, in their heart of hearts, people pull for what is moral and good.

Another study by Newman and Knobe involved “Mark,” a devout Christian who was nonetheless attracted to other men. The researchers sought to understand how the participants viewed Mark’s dilemma. For conservative test subjects, Mark’s “true self” was not gay; they recommended that he resist such temptations. Those with a more liberal outlook thought he should come out of the closet. Yet if Mark was presented as a secular humanist who thought being homosexual was fine but had negative feelings when thinking about same-sex couples, the conservatives quickly identified this reluctance as evidence of Mark’s true self; liberals viewed it as evidence of a lack of insight or sophistication. In other words, what we claim to be the core of another person’s personality is in fact rooted in the values that we ourselves hold most dear. The “true self” turns out to be a moral yardstick.

The belief that the true self is moral probably explains why people connect personal improvements more than personal deficiencies to their “true self.” Apparently we do so actively to enhance appraisals of ourselves. Anne E. Wilson of Wilfrid Laurier University in Ontario and Michael Ross of the University of Waterloo in Ontario have demonstrated in several studies that we tend to ascribe more negative traits to the person we were in the past—which makes us look better in the here and now. According to Wilson and Ross, the further back people go, the more negative their characterization becomes. Although improvement and change are part of the normal maturation process, it feels good to believe that over time, one has become “who one really is.”

Assuming that we have a solid core identity reduces the complexity of a world that is constantly in flux. The people around us play many different roles, acting inconsistently and at the same time continuing to develop. It is reassuring to think that our friends Tom and Sarah will be precisely the same tomorrow as they are today and that they are basically good people—regardless of whether that perception is correct.

Is life without belief in a true self even imaginable? Researchers have examined this question by comparing different cultures. The belief in a true self is widespread in most parts of the world. One exception is Buddhism, which preaches the nonexistence of a stable self. Prospective Buddhist monks are taught to see through the illusionary character of the ego—it is always in flux and completely malleable.

Nina Strohminger of the University of Pennsylvania and her colleagues wanted to know how this perspective affects the fear of death of those who hold it. They gave a series of questionnaires and scenarios to about 200 lay Tibetans and 60 Buddhist monks. They compared the results with those of Christians and nonreligious people in the U.S., as well as with those of Hindus (who, much like Christians, believe that a core of the soul, or atman, gives human beings their identity). The common image of Buddhists is that they are deeply relaxed, completely “selfless” people. Yet the less that the Tibetan monks believed in a stable inner essence, the more likely they were to fear death. In addition, they were significantly more selfish in a hypothetical scenario in which forgoing a particular medication could prolong the life of another person. Nearly three out of four monks decided against that fictitious option, far more than the Americans or Hindus. Self-serving, fearful Buddhists? In another paper, Strohminger and her colleagues called the idea of the true self a “hopeful phantasm,” albeit a possibly useful one. It is, in any case, one that is hard to shake.

9. Insecure people tend to behave more morally.

Insecurity is generally thought of as a drawback, but it is not entirely bad. People who feel insecure about whether they have some positive trait tend to try to prove that they do have it. Those who are unsure of their generosity, for example, are more likely to donate money to a good cause. This behavior can be elicited experimentally by giving subjects negative feedback—for instance, “According to our tests, you are less helpful and cooperative than average.” People dislike hearing such judgments and end up feeding the donation box.

Drazen Prelec, a psychologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, explains such findings with his theory of self-signaling: what a particular action says about me is often more important than the action’s actual objective. More than a few people have stuck with a diet because they did not want to appear weak-willed. Conversely, it has been empirically established that those who are sure that they are generous, intelligent or sociable make less effort to prove it. Too much self-assurance makes people complacent and increases the chasm between the self that they imagine and the self that is real. Therefore, those who think they know themselves well are particularly apt to know themselves less well than they think.

10. If you think of yourself as flexible, you will do much better.

People’s own theories about who they are influence how they behave. One’s self-image can therefore easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Carol Dweck of Stanford University has spent much time researching such effects. Her takeaway: if we view a characteristic as mutable, we are inclined to work on it more. On the other hand, if we view a trait such as IQ or willpower as largely unchangeable and inherent, we will do little to improve it.

In Dweck’s studies of students, men and women, parents and teachers, she gleaned a basic principle: people with a rigid sense of self take failure badly. They see it as evidence of their limitations and fear it; fear of failure, meanwhile, can itself cause failure. In contrast, those who understand that a particular talent can be developed accept setbacks as an invitation to do better next time. Dweck thus recommends an attitude aimed at personal growth. When in doubt, we should assume that we have something more to learn and that we can improve and develop.

But even people who have a rigid sense of self are not fixed in all aspects of their personality. According to psychologist Andreas Steimer of the University of Heidelberg in Germany, even when people describe their strengths as completely stable, they tend to believe that they will outgrow their weaknesses sooner or later. If we try to imagine how our personality will look in several years, we lean toward views such as: “Level-headedness and clear focus will still be part and parcel of who I am, and I’ll probably have fewer self-doubts.”

Overall, we tend to view our character as more static than it is, presumably because this assessment offers security and direction. We want to recognize our particular traits and preferences so that we can act accordingly. In the final analysis, the image that we create of ourselves is a kind of safe haven in an ever-changing world.

And the moral of the story? According to researchers, self-knowledge is even more difficult to attain than has been thought. Contemporary psychology has fundamentally questioned the notion that we can know ourselves objectively and with finality. It has made it clear that the self is not a “thing” but rather a process of continual adaptation to changing circumstances. And the fact that we so often see ourselves as more competent, moral and stable than we actually are serves our ability to adapt.

You thought that it was special, special. But it was just the sex Maybe you don't understand what I'm going through. It's only me, what you got.

80 Best Missing You Quotes For Saying I Miss You

you don t know how special you are

Looking for quotes for Instagram Bio? Here we collected more than 321 quotes to help you stand from the rest of the Inta-crowd. There are many people explaining how should be the perfect Instagram Bio.

It should be short, it should be appealing, you should sell something…

Don’t get crazy about that!

You should enjoy your time in the platform, so if you just wanna add a silly sentence, or simply add a quote you like, go for it!

We collected also +100 Instagram quotes for friends here.

We even found more and summed up the best instagram captions here.

There are no strict rules for the Insta-game, it is always evolving. Start posting, and use quotes and daily life photos if it’s your world. You should just play, cause we are here a short time. It’s better to have fun!

As we collected many quotes, here you have an index for you to skip to a certain idea you are looking for.

If you simply want inspirational quotes, keep scrolling.

Quotes for your Instagram bio

  1. Instagram bio examples
  2. Cool ideas for your bio
  3. Funny Instagram bio ideas
  4. Travel quotes to use on your bio
  5. Bio quotes for girls
  6. Girly quotes for Instagram bio
  7. Short Instagram bio
  8. Instagram bios with emojis
  9. Swag bio for Instagram
  10. Bio for Instagram for boy attitude
  11. Motivational Instagram bio quotes

Instagram bio examples

If you want a good example of an Instagram bio, just have a look at the accounts you like to follow and try to figure out what captivated your attention.

Is there something in common? Do you find something inspirational?

Until you find your perfect quote for your Instagram bio, here you have some quotes you can use:

  • Making the every day magical.
  • Loving fiercely. Stopping along the way to take photos.
  • Captivated from life, showing it here.
  • Trying to become the best. That is why first I am being the worst.
  • Creating a life I love.

  • Girl with a strong desire to travel the world and explore new places.
  • Trying to remember who I was before the world told me who to be.
  • We have tomorrows for a reason.
  • Serving you a feast of vibrant grids.
  • Just making sure to love life.
  • When it rains look for rainbows when it’s dark I look for stars.
  • I don’t want to forget something that once made us smile.

  • I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.
  • You is kind, you is smart, you is important.
  • Die having memories don’t die with just dreams.
  • Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.
  • Stay humble. Be kind. Work hard.T
  • Throwing kindness around like confetti.
  • Don’t ever be afraid to shine.
  • Creating my own sunshine.
  • Going where I feel most alive.

Being the first rate version of myself is better

than being a second rate version of somebody else.

  • Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by a change.
  • Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.
  • Be anything but predictable.

  • Just make sure to love your life.
  • Your life becomes a masterpiece when you learn to master peace.
  • It won’t always be easy, but always try to do what’s right.
  • She turned her cants into cans and her dreams into plans.
  • Life is what happens to you while you scroll through Instagram.
  • A day in the life of me: Eat avocado toast, post Instagram videos, reply to Instagram comments.
  • It’s my time to step into the spotlight, I’ve earned it.
  • I practice what I post.

Cool Instagram bio ideas

  • A warrior in a world of worriers.
  • Being myself – Everyone else is taken.
  • These are the days we live for.
  • Friends who slay together stay together.
  • Time is precious, waste it wisely.

  • I would rather die of passion than of boredom.
  • When daydreams become reality.
  • Perseverance pays… a lot!
  • If I was a writer I’d have a better Instagram bio quote.
  • The best of me is yet to come.
  • It wasn’t always easy but it’s worth it.
  • Gifted napper, talker, and ice cream eater.
  • Do you know what I like about people? Their dogs.
  • First I drink the coffee. Then I do things.
  • I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
  • Good times and tan lines.

  • My mission in life is not merely to survive but thrive.
  • Everything has beauty but not everyone can see.
  • Remember to always be yourself.
  • Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.
  • If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.
  • The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.
  • Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
  • We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

  • When nothing goes right….swipe!
  • I know I left my sanity around here somewhere.
  • In a world full of trends I want to remain a classic.
  • Do justly. Love Mercy. Walk humbly.
  • I’m slowly becoming the person I should have been a long time ago.

Funny Instagram bio ideas

  • “Be strong,” I whisper to my wifi signal.
  • Chocolate never asks me any questions, chocolate understands me.
  • Recovering from donut addiction.
  • A preview of my life. This is not the whole movie. P.S.: if you wanna get behind the scenes just head to my stories.

Words cannot express my love and passion for fridays.

The photos might help.

  • The hardest thing I ever tried is being normal.
  • I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.
  • Life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
  • I woke up and …posted this.
  • Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
  • Here to serve… The cat overlord.
  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
  • I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
  • A caffeine dependent life form.

  • I always prefer my puns to be intended.
  • Life is too short to wear boring undies.
  • Being a fruit loop in a bowl of cheerios.
  • We’re all just molecules.

Be a pineapple:

Stand up straight,

wear a crown and

always be sweet on the inside.

  • Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
  • Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
  • My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos, and sweatpants.
  • I hope one day I will love something the way women in commercials love yogurt.
  • I still don’t understand Instagram, but here I am anyway.
  • We are born naked, hungry and wet. Then things just get worse.
  • One of the few people on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
  • My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  • I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook
  • Spent a large portion of my life eating. Will do the same in my next life.
  • Probably the most talented TV watcher you’ll ever find.
  • Just another paper cut survivor.
  • It’s possible that I’m eating frosting with a spoon.
  • Living vicariously through myself.
  • Recommended by 4 out of 5 people who recommend things.
  • I work an unpaid internship as a professional nerd.
  • Wondering how many miles I have scrolled with my thumbs.
  • When I am upsetti I eat some spaguetti.
  • I’m cool, but global warming made me HOT.
  • 5’2 is my height but my attitude is 6’1.
  • Trying to watch more sunsets than Netflix.

  • Today I will be as useless as letter “g” in lasagna.
  • Looking for hashtags – they look like waffles.
  • Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me. Found it already? Let me know!
  • Being a rainbow. Are you color blind?
  • Conquering from within
  • I hold the key to the secrets of the universe. I just can’t find the lock.
  • I’m best served with coffee and a side of sarcasm.
  • When I’m downie I eat a brownie.
  • Instagram bio ideas with emoji.
  • I scream for ice cream.

Travel bio quotes

  • Don’t listen to what they say, go see.
  • Chasing destinations around the globe.
  • Go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.
  • To truly live is the greatest adventure there is.
  • Catching flights, not feelings.
  • Escaping the ordinary.
  • Continuously traveling with my mind. My body sometimes joins.
  • Those who do not travel only read one page.
  • Better to see something once than hear about it a thousand times.
  • Is The journey (and the memories), not the arrival, what matters.
  • Never. Stop. Exploring.
  • Travel far enough you meet yourself.
  • You can’t buy happiness but you can buy a plane ticket, and that’s kind of the same thing.
  • All you need to know is that it’s possible.
  • Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.
  • Jobs fill your pocket but adventures fill your soul.
  • If you think adventures are dangerous, try routine: it’s lethal.
  • In love with cities I’ve never been to. Wanna discover them with me?
  • Take only memories, leave only footprints.

Instagram bio quotes for girls

  • We are born to be real, not perfect.
  • Sand in my toes and saltwater in my curls.
  • Turning my dreams into my vision and my vision into reality
  • Believing in making the impossible possible
  • I’m not perfect but stories are always better with a touch of imperfection, right?
  • Leaving a bit of sparkle everywhere I go (Yes I do carry glitter in my pockets)
  • Smart. Strong. Silly.
  • Strong women rule the world.
  • I’m a woman with ambition and a heart of gold.
  • I feel like making my dreams come true

  • I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
  • Always wearing my invisible crown.
  • Sometimes depressed, stressed…, but still well dressed.
  • So many books, so little time.
  • To infinity and beyond.
  • The bags under my eyes are Gucci.
  • Always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood.
  • Who runs the world? Repeat loud in front of a mirror: ME!
  • Happiness is always trendy
  • I shine from within so no one can dim my light

Girly quotes for Instagram bio

  • Doing all things with kindness
  • Single, focused, blessed. Living life.
  • My standards are high. Just like my heels
  • A messy bun and having fun
  • Voice of the wild within every woman
  • I am a girl. I don’t smoke, drink or party every weekend. I don’t sleep around or start drama to get attention. Yes, we do still exist!
  • Who cares, I am awesome.
  • Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore. They just pack and travel the worl.

  • Being worn a girl is the worst and the best that happened to me
  • A great girl is classy, not trashy
  • Who runs the world? GIRLS
  • Don’t tell her how to dress, tell him not to rape
  • Sassy, classy, and bad-assy
  • Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
  • Leave a little sparkle everywhere you go
  • Just like my eyeliner, I always wing it

Currently starring in my own reality show titled:

A Modern Cinderella, One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoe.

  • Nice guys do invite you lunch
  • Today’s mood is brought to you by lipstick and coffee.
  • Life is not a fairytale. If you loose your shoes at midnight, you are drunk!

  • Keep your heels, head, and standard high
  • Just a girl in front of a photo willing to receive likes
  • Sweet as sugar, tough as nails

Instagram bio quotes short

  • Simplicity is the key to happiness.
  • The best ist yet to come.
  • Slowing Down.
  • 9-GRID Storyteller.
  • Spreading Smiles.
  • Creativity solves everything.
  • To travel is to live.
  • I woke up like this.
  • A camera in hand.
  • Instagram nerd.
  • Your vibe attracts your tribe.

  • Some pictures I’ve taken.
  • You get what you give.
  • This seat is taken.
  • World’s most annoying couple.
  • I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
  • “99% coffee”.
  • Nothing but blue skies.
  • Just keep moving.
  • Dream Big.
  • Screw it, let’s do it.
  • Being in the Now (check my Insta Stories).
  • Collecting moments (and photos).
  • Travel together – stay together!

  • Daydreamer, night thinker.
  • Nothing is eternal.
  • I am 99%angle, but oh, that 1%….
  • Go wild for a while.
  • Optimism is contagious.
  • Making history, I mean…Insta stories…
  • Nobody is perfect.
  • Stay classy.
  • Namast’ay (in bed).
  • There is beauty in simplicity.
  • As free as the ocean.

Instagram bios with emojis

  • L💖VE is in the air
  • Just click follow button 😉
  • L❤️ ver not a fighter spreading ✌️ all over the 🌎
  • Laugh while you have teeth 😀
  • Welcome to my d👑m
  • Currently hanging out in 🇵🇹 (+ flag country)
  • I love all animals 🐶
  • Survivor 🎗️
  • Traveller ✈️ Book Lover 📖
  • Obsessed with tacos 🌮
  • Saving trees by not doing my homework ✏️📚📖
  • Sleep 💤 and get relax. Great Ideas will come 💭
  • Never Hear Bad 🙉, Never Look Bad 🙊, Never Talk Badly 🙊
  • 👇 Check out my photos 👇

Swag bio for Instagram

  • Living my dreams.
  • WiFi + food + my bed = PERFECTION.
  • Don’t like me? Don’t care.
  • Bad decisions make for the best stories.
  • Kind of a good samaritan, terrible athlete, but extremely blessed in the napping skills department.
  • All you hipsters need to stop wearing Nirvana shirts if you don’t even listen to them.
  • Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
  • Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.
  • I smile because I have no idea what is going on anymore.
  • Naturally and artificially flavored.
  • God gave me a lot of hair, but not a lot of height.
  • Acting like summer & walking like rain.
  • A Nomad in search of the perfect burger.
  • Never forget, the world is yours. Terms and conditions may apply.
  • I wanna be different just like everyone else.
  • I can resist everything except temptation.
  • My blood is made of coffee.
  • Maybe I’m born with it.
  • It’s not a phase, it’s who I am.
  • You can’t make everybody happy, you aren’t a jar of Nutella.
  • My only real long term goal is to end up on Ellen’s show.
  • Give me the chocolate and nobody will get hurt.
  • The future is shaped by your dreams. Stop wasting time and go to sleep!
  • This is my simple Coffee dependent life.
  • I need 6 months of vacation twice a year.

  • All my life I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of chips.
  • Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles.
  • If you fall, worry not. The floor will be there.
  • I followed my heart, it led me to the fridge.
  • I don’t look like this in real life.
  • Taking naps is so childish, I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.
  • Ugg life.
  • It’s never too late to be who you might have been.
  • Savage attitude but golden heart.
  • Make peace with your broken pieces.
  • Why blend in when you born to stand out.

I’m jealous of my parents,

I’ll never be able to have a kid as cool as theirs.

  • I have to be funny because being hot just isn’t an option for me at this point.
  • God bless this hot mess!
  • Where the heck am I? How did I get here?
  • Hi, my hobbies include breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
  • I was not born for mediocre.
  • Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin.
  • Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
  • Living vicariously through myself.
  • You’re just jealous cuz I got swag.
  • Good girl with a good playlist.
  • Don’t try to change me.
  • Stay a mystery, it attracts more curious people.
  • Forgive? Yes. Forget? Never.
  • I get it from my mama.
  • Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me.
  • A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.

  • Who else are you going to follow? Really!
  • I’m not the jealous type, but what’s mine is MINE.
  • You’re too rad to be sad.
  • Making (insta)story.
  • We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  • Don’t be so quick to judge me. You only see what I chose to show you.
  • Scratch here to reveal my bio.
  • I only use Instagram to stalk.
  • Believing in yourself is the first secret to success.
  • I’m out here hustling to claim what’s mine.

Bio for instagram for boy attitude

  • Risk taker. Adventurer. Globetrotter.
  • Living my life on my own terms.
  • I might look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.
  • Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.
  • I got here by being me, so I’ll continue being me.
  • Be all in or get out. There is no in between.
  • Kilometers are shorter than miles. To save gas I’ll take my next trip in kilometers.

  • I was born to… do exactly what I’m doing today.
  • I might not be where I want to be yet but I get closer every day.
  • One day, I hope to be a happy old man telling wild stories from my Instagram grid.
  • I don’t care what people think of me. This is me in the rawest form.
  • Born to express, not impress.
  • You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.

Motivation quotes for Instagram bios

  • Being positive in a negative situation is not naïve, it’s leadership.
  • Attitudes are contagious. Make your worth catching.
  • One bad chapter does not mean the story is over.
  • Your life becomes a masterpiece when you learn to master peace.
  • Change your life today.
  • Your best teacher is your last mistake.
  • Every day is a second chance.
  • You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
  • Happiness is not by chance but by choice.
  • Keep your face to the sunshine and you won’t see a shadow.
  • A champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.
  • How we live our life is far more important than how we say we live our life.
  • Knowledge is like underwear, important to have, but not necessary to show off.
  • Attitudes are contagious.
  • By all means: Do it!

  • Wherever life plants you bloom with grace.
  • I don’t need any part-time people in my life.
  • Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.
  • Life goes on.
  • Only I can change my life. Only you can change yours.
  • Fair is where you get cotton candy.
  • If you dare you will win.
  • Smile big. Laugh Often. Never take life for granted.
  • The road to success is always under construction.
  • Find comfort in the chaos.

Nothing is impossible.

The word itself says “I’m possible!”

  • I’d rather be someone’s Sunday morning than their Saturday night.
  • This above all, to thine own self, be true.
  • Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.
  • There’s no fun in giving up.
  • No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
  • Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
  • You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
  • With confidence, you have won before you have started.
  • Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you have imagined.
  • If you look at what you already have in life, you’ll always have more.
  • You are enough just as you are.
  • Always aiming to be a rainbow at the end of a thunderstorm.
  • You must do the things you think you cannot do.
  • Pursue your passion and you’ll never work a day in your life.
  • Don’t quit your daydream.
  • Life is short. Do stuff that matters.

  • Silent people tend to have the loudest minds.
  • My goal is to create a life that I don’t want to take a vacation from.
  • Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
  • To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
  • Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
  • Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.
  • Being braver than I believe, stronger than I seem, and smarter than I think.
  • Do what you can with what you have, where you are.
  • Haters are my greatest motivators.
  • Be the EXTRA in extraordinary.
  • Eat, sleep, create.
  • The best revenge is a massive success.
  • Don’t stop until you’re proud.
  • I don’t believe in someday, I believe in TODAY.
  • Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself.
  • Choose your own adventure.
  • We have tomorrows for a reason.
  • Believe in yourself ( it is the first secret to success)
  • Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.
  • Is The journey, not the arrival, that matters.
  • All you need to know is that IT IS POSSIBLE.
  • Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.
  • When it rains look for rainbows.
  • Don’t ever be afraid to shine.
  • There are three kinds of people in this world. Which one are you?
  • Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
  • Create your own sunshine
  • To be irreplaceable, one must be different.

Summary of Instagram bio quotes

So, enough inspiration? You should have plenty of ideas for a cool Instagram bio right now. So… go set up your Instagram account and let the fun begin!

If you still need some funny Instagram quotes, well, here you have more:

Do you have a fun or cool insta bio and you want to share it with us? Just write it on our comments!

Happy Instagramming!

It's time to party and make your birthday as special as you are! one of these birthday wishes for best friends, and let your bestie know just how much you care Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights.

you don t know how special you are
Written by Kajigor
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