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Sample apology letter for hurt feelings

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Sample apology letter for hurt feelings
June 16, 2019 Anniversary Wishes For Parents 1 comment

Best Sample with writing Tips of Apology Letter for Hurt Feelings to someone is given with Example in PDF & Word Format.

No relationship in this world is perfect, no matter how compatible you are or how much you love each other. You can love each other to the end of the world and back and still have times where one person is upset at the other one.

There is not a single relationship in the world that is immune to fighting. With any relationship, it is bound to happen whether you want it to or not.

So no matter how great you and your boyfriend are together, there will come a time when you will find that you need to apologize to him over something that he feels hurt about.

After all, you are only human. From losing your temper and being selfish to lying or cheating, there will be some instances when your boyfriend will be on the receiving end of your mistakes.

Below are some examples of apology letters for your boyfriend, as well as tips on how to write a sincere, personal letter to him. These apology letters cover a wide range of scenarios in which you might find yourself needing to apologize for something that has happened in your relationship.

Even though you can use these apology letters for your boyfriend, you should also include some details that are specific to your relationship. Examples of this include his name and what exactly you are apologizing for.

How to Write an Apology Letter to Boyfriend

Validate his feelings

Even if you did not mean to hurt or upset him, your boyfriend has his own feelings that are completely valid and these feelings should be acknowledged by you. Just because you do not see it from his perspective, it does not mean that his feelings are not real.

If you always tell your boyfriend that he has no right to be upset or that it is his fault that he is so sensitive, then that will have a negative impact on your relationship.

Your boyfriend should be able to feel like he can trust you and he should also feel safe with you. But how can he feel that way if you do not acknowledge how he feels?

You do not have to completely understand where he is coming from, but if you want to improve your relationship with him, then you should at least try to be understanding.

Tell him how you will make things right

An apology can be empty and useless if you do not show that you plan on changing things for the better. You can say “I’m sorry,” but if you do not have any intentions of avoiding this type of situation again, then your apology is useless.

In your apology letter, tell your boyfriend how you will make things better. What kinds of things caused him to feel hurt, angry, or upset? Identify those things and tell him that you will work on them.

For example, if he is upset because you do not communicate with him well, then tell him that you will work on your communication. Come up with some sort of plan so he feels like you are taking this seriously.

If you lost your temper with him, then you can say that you will try to calm down before you talk to him about things, that way he does not feel attacked by you.

These are examples of how you can express to him that you are trying to improve your relationship. On top of an apology, you are also trying to find solutions to avoid running into these problems again.

Remind him that you care

In times like these, a person can sometimes doubt their relationship. If you want to stay together, then you need to remind him that you are committed to working things out.

Remind him that you love him and that you want to make him happy. This is important as he might be feeling lost and insecure right now.

What do you love about him? What do you love about their relationship? How does he make you feel? These are some details that you might want to include in your apology letter, as they can also remind your boyfriend about the great things that exist in the relationship that you have together.

Be sincere

Avoid peppering your letter with unrealistic promises that will not be met. You do not want to be deceitful in your apology letter to your boyfriend.

Do not fill up your apology letter with things that you do not mean. There is nothing worse than offering up empty promises that you have no intention of keeping.

You have to really want to resolve this issue between you and your boyfriend. And in order to do that, you have to be honest with him. Be sincere in your letter.

Part of being sincere includes you telling the truth, not just what you think he wants to hear so he will forgive you right away and move on. When you say that you are sorry, you should really mean it.

Ask him what will help

When it comes to mending things with your boyfriend, apologizing is only a part of the solution. You will also want to demonstrate that you intend to make things better. Otherwise, what is to stop him from thinking that you will do the same things to hurt him again?

This can sometimes include asking your boyfriend how you can be better in the relationship or you can ask what would make him feel better. This will make him heard and he will feel like his feelings matter.

It can also make him feel better about your future together if you both work on how to improve the relationship. Remember that you are a team and that working together and listening to each other is important.

Examples of Apology Letters for Your Boyfriend

Apology letter #1:

Dear __________,

Together as a couple, we have made some truly special memories. We have an amazing connection that I have never had with anyone else and I cherish how special you make me feel.

I wish that every day with us could be happy, but as you know, no relationship is always perfect. Sometimes, mistakes are made and this time I have made a mistake by hurting you.

I am so sorry for the hurtful things that I said to you. I wish that I could take back every hurtful thing that I said. You of all people do not deserve this kind of treatment.

As my boyfriend, you deserve to feel loved and I hate that my words hurt you. It kills me that I was so thoughtless when I said those things.

Losing control over my temper was unacceptable. I wish that it had not happened, especially to you. I do not want our relationship to be like this and I know that it is up to me to take responsibility for what happened.

I know that just saying that I am sorry is not enough to change things. I need to think about what I say and how it affects other people, especially you of all people.

You are the most important person in the world to me, and there are not enough words to express that. I regret that I used some of my words to hurt you and I hope that you can forgive me. Just know that I am sorry that I hurt you.

Apology letter #2:

Dear _________,

We have something so good together and I am afraid that I might have ruined that forever. I hope that this is not the case, even though I know that I am the person who is at fault here.

I am eternally sorry that I completely betrayed your trust. A good, healthy relationship should be built on honesty and I was not completely honest with you about what has been going on lately. You cannot imagine how remorseful I feel over this.

You deserve to have a girlfriend who is honest with you and I have fallen short of that standard. I promise to do better from now on. No more secrets and no more lies. I do not want to risk losing you.

I need to learn to be comfortable in my own skin and to share everything about myself with you. Please give me a chance to gain your trust back. How can I make things better with us? I love you.

Apology letter #3:

Dear __________,

Because you are my boyfriend, I know that I should share all of my thoughts with you, but instead, I kept it all to myself.

I am sorry for keeping you in the dark like this. We should be partners, not strangers, and it is my fault that I feel like a stranger to you right now.

You do not deserve to have secrets kept from you and I will communicate my feelings to you better from now on. You deserve a woman who will share her whole life with you and that is exactly what I want to do.

Can you please forgive me for not being open with you? I am sorry for not expressing myself but I will work on it. I promise to let you in more. This is a relationship that I am fully committed to and I want to prove that to you.

Apology letter #4:

Dear _________,

I know that you have been feeling like you are not a priority in my life at all and I am very sorry that my thoughtless actions have caused you to feel this way.

The very last thing that I ever wanted to do was hurt you and make you feel like you were not an important part of my life. You mean so much to me, even if I have not been showing it lately.

Even though I have not been showing it enough, you are the most important thing to me. You matter the most and I regret that I did not show this to you through my actions.

Making you feel like you were being ignored was ignorant on my part. The last thing I wanted to do was make you feel like you were invisible.

I deeply regret taking you for granted. Do you know how much I appreciate having you in my life? If not, then I promise to show it a lot more.

You mean the world to me and I am so sorry if my insensitive and neglectful actions and words have caused you to doubt how much I love you. My love for you is still as strong as it ever was and I am sorry for putting you second when you should be first.

It was selfish of me to not consider your feelings and I promise to be more in tune to them. Your feelings deserve to be acknowledged and you deserve to be heard. I want to be a better girlfriend to you.

I hope you know that I love you and that you mean the world to me. I am sorry for the times that I did not put you first. Your feeling and opinions matter to me and I have been insensitive to them.

You deserve to feel appreciated and special and I want to give that to you. I am sorry that I have made you question if I love you. My love for you is still strong.

I want to do my part to help make our relationship flourish and grow stronger. I know that I can do this and I know that you are the only guy for me.

What do I need to do to make you feel more secure about us? I want to do everything I can to make our relationship a strong one.

Please forgive me for everything and I will do my best to make it all up to you. I realize that I have a lot to prove to you and I hope that you will give me the chance to do it.

Apology letter #5:

Dear ________,

You are such an amazing boyfriend, a better than I could have ever asked or hoped for. You are incredibly thoughtful, sweet, considerate, and so much more. But in spite of this, I let myself doubt your intentions.

Instead of trusting you and appreciating our relationship, I became jealous and paranoid of you even though deep down, I know that you committed you are to our relationship.

I am sorry that I let my insecurities get the best of me. Of course, I trust you and you deserve to have friends. You do not need to be asked a million questions and you deserve to have your own space when you need it.

Unfortunately, I got a little too jealous but I know that you have other people in your life and I know that you have always put me first. I have to give you credit for that.

You are the most important person to me and you should feel like you can talk to your friends and hang out with them even when I am not around. I did not mean to act so paranoidly. I am just so in love with you and was blinded by that.

I can promise you that I will work hard to trust you a lot more and I hope this is an issue that we can both move on from together. Can you please find it in your heart to forgive me?

Apology letter #6:

Dear __________,

You are a truly amazing guy who deserves to be with a woman who is just as patient and selfless as you are. Unfortunately, I did not meet all of these standards and did not give you what you deserve in a relationship. This is something that I am determined to change.

I know that it is time for me to swallow my pride and I will admit that I have messed up a few things in our relationship. I completely accept the blame for the things that I did to hurt our relationship, even if it was not on purpose.

For some reason, it is so hard for me to say that I am sorry even when I know that I am the one who is in the wrong. But I love you enough to say that I am sorry. I do not want to risk losing you.

I now realize that my stupid, selfish pride is worth nothing compared to the special bond that you and I have. What we have is something that is truly special and to me, it is something that cannot be replaced.

I am so sorry that it took this long for me to finally realize my role in the issues that are going on between us right now. You mean so much to me and I would do anything to make you happy.

Our relationship really is the very best thing that I have in my life and I want to work on making it better. Please forgive me for being so stubborn and unwilling to change things. I want to work things out between us and I hope you do too.

Apology letter #7:

Dear __________,

While I know that just saying sorry is not enough, I know that I need to say it to you anyway. I am so sorry for hurting you. I know that saying the words to you is not enough to make things better.

I want to be a better girlfriend for you. And I am determined to change so I can be a better girlfriend. I promise I will make things better for us.

You are the guy that I want to be with and I am going to prove it to you. I hope you can forgive me for messing things up so badly. Again, I am really sorry for what happened.

Apology letter #8:

Dear __________,

There is a saying that love means having to say that you are sorry. I love you so much, more than I ever thought I could love anyone.

It is an amazing feeling being able to love you. And that is why I need to try to fix this.

So here I am, telling you how very sorry I am for hurting you. You deserve an apology from me even if you did not ask me for one.

You are the sweetest guy I know and I am truly, incredibly lucky to have you in my life. Sometimes I still cannot believe that this is real, that we were able to find each other and that you love me as much as you do.

I know that when I do or say something hurtful towards you, you have a tendency to just brush it off and act like it is nothing.

When you are hurting, you do not like to talk about it or admit that you are feeling hurt. This is something that I have observed in our relationship.

But this is something I feel really badly about. I should not have done what I did and said what I said. I feel terrible for hurting you.

I promise to consider your feelings more in the future. I love you and do not want you to feel put down, disrespected, or unappreciated.

Conclusion

These are just a few ways in which you can apologize to your boyfriend through a letter. Whether you decide to apologize through a letter or in person, some of the words from these letters can help you make the perfect apology for him.

Just remember to be honest and to swallow your pride in your apology to your boyfriend. And if he does not accept your apology, wait patiently to see if he can forgive you. If he does not, then you know that you apologized and that you tried your best to attempt to mend the relationship.

If your boyfriend does accept your apology, then remember what caused him to feel hurt so you can avoid repeating history again. You want to improve your relationship and not make the same mistakes again.

Filed Under: DatingTagged With: hate, list, opinions, promises

When you find yourself offending a close friend, it is wise to write a letter of apology for hurting their feelings. Here is an examp. le: Sample. December 25,

How to Write an Apology Letter

sample apology letter for hurt feelings

Why, how and when to offer a sincere apology

Knowing how to say sorry and apologise sincerely and gracefully…

… saves relationships,
… builds trust,
… preserves your energy by stopping needless worrying,
… maintains and improves your self-esteem.

Apologising is not a sign of weakness and incompetence – quite the opposite! Knowing how to offer a genuine apology is an essential, positive social skill.

(By the way, I spell apologise with an ‘s’ – it’s a British thing, but of course, if you write in American English, you’ll want to spell it with a ‘z’.)

And, before we move on, you may want to find a solution for the underlying problem that led you to have to apologise…

You may also want to read…

If you’re feeling guilty (just in case)

When you’re already dealing with the guilt because of the damage your words or actions have caused, what have you got to lose by making a meaningful and sincere apology?

If you know you’ve been wrong, have made a mistake or you’ve let people down, it’s best to forget about ‘saving face’.

Other people are likely to know or sense that things don’t stack up, even if you’re trying your hardest to deny your wrong-doing. You may get away with it for now, but there’s always the chance that the skeleton will fall out of the cupboard at some point in the future.

However, you wouldn’t have landed on this page if you hadn’t acknowledged on some level that you’ve made a mistake.

That is – unless you’re trying to find a sneaky way out of a ‘situation’. If so, don’t even bother to read on… this page is only for the genuinely sorry.

However rough you’re feeling right now and however confused you are about where to start, don’t worry!

Saying sorry is a skill that can be learned. It’s a noble thing to do, and an essential part of general communication skills.

Why apologise?

Most importantly, knowing how to genuinely and sincerely apologise in a meaningful way helps to build and maintain healthy relationships (see also: Healthy relationship tips and advice).

Saying sorry deepens a relationship in several ways:

6 WAYS A MEANINGFUL AND SINCERE APOLOGY CAN BENEFIT YOUR (OR ANY) RELATIONSHIP

  1. A heartfelt apology builds trust.
  2. It prevents the potential deterioration of relationship problems.
  3. It can kick start a renewal of your relationship.
  4. It removes awkwardness between the parties – you know… that horrible feeling of not knowing what to say to the other person, resulting in you doing all you can to avoid them.
  5. In an indirect way, it opens up a way for the other person to admit to their mistakes (if they’re so inclined!)
  6. It allows your partner to love you with all your flaws and imperfections.

And the benefits don’t stop there!

What is the potential outcome of saying sorry?

Well… there may, of course, be negative consequences to your admission of guilt.

You may end up being punished, having to deal with the fall-out in your relationship, and having to ‘pay’ for it in some way emotionally, mentally, physically (know what to do when your partner physically hurts you) or financially.

However, if you’re truly guilty, then mostly it’s best to take whatever comes your way on the chin (except abuse!). I know, it may cause you a few sleepless nights, but believe me when I say: “Today’s drama is tomorrows binliner!”

In any case, you best prepare yourself for having to deal with criticism.

I suspect you’ll have considered at least some of that already.

Having a tough time dealing with guilty feelings (above and beyond the expected)?

But I mentioned earlier other benefits of a genuine, heartfelt apology, and these include:

1. Better relationships
– with your colleagues, friends or family, or with your partner (unless you’re admitting to infidelity – see links further down for other articles).

2. A clear conscience,
which potentially reduces anxiety, improves sleep and restores your self-respect.

3. Improved ‘spare capacity’
to deal with other dramas, projects, people or opportunities. Worrying about being found out to have done something wrong, and guilt about having caused hurt takes energy that you can put to much better use.

4. Improved self-esteem
You can be chuffed with yourself for having taken some positive action.

5. Prevention of awkwardness
due to unfinished business.

Are feelings of guilt stopping you from taking action?

The secret to dealing with those feelings is to use self-hypnosis to help you process them. Discover how effective, affordable and user-friendly hypnosis downloads are on at my page: Frequently asked questions and downloads.

9 misdemeanours that probably require a sincere apology

Here are some examples of what may have caused distress to others, to a greater or lesser extent.

You may want to offer an apology for any of the following (and there are no judgements about seriousness here):

  • There was a misunderstanding because you were ignorant of the facts.
  • You made assumptions and you omitted to check them out.
  • You deliberately hurt your partner or someone else to ‘get your own back’.
  • You’ve been plain selfish.
  • You’ve broken a promise.
  • You acted on hearsay. Gossip hurts other people and undermines your self-respect.
  • You’ve let your partner or other people down – at home, at work or at play.
  • Something happened through neglect or omission with unfortunate or even dreadful consequences.
  • You were so emotional or angry that you completely lost it and blurted out things that hurt others in the process. (Read also my articles on anger management techniques and anger management counselling.)

It could, of course, have been a combination of any these, or something different entirely! Whatever it was, you can use the above to help you structure your apology letter.

Another reason you may have disappointed or hurt others is that you possibly just haven’t ‘felt yourself’ lately. This can’t ever be an excuse, but it can be an explanation for your insensitivity to the feelings of others.

When you’re feeling exhausted, depressed and stressed, your capacity to consider others may be diminished. In that case, you may well benefit from talking to a professional.

This doesn’t absolve you of responsibility or remove the need to apologise though.

3 Step plan for a successful apology

You may be feeling pretty ‘sheepish’ right now, assuming that you’re here for genuine reasons.

If not – a gentle word of warning: disingenuousness will ‘leak out’ in your general demeanour, including your voice, choice of words and body language.  

Someone else will pick it up either consciously or unconsciously. The penny will drop for them at some point – if not immediately.

First of all, it’s always best to say sorry as soon as possible, but only after some careful thought. Once you’ve really thought the situation through, here’s a plan to help you with your perfect apology:

Firstly

Try to really understand what your mistake has meant to your partner or any other wronged party. You may need to do a bit of ‘research’ – only by imagining yourself in their shoes will you get a sense of how they may be feeling.

Secondly

Decide how you’re going to apologise: by telephone? Email? Text? Letter? In-person?

THIRDLY

Decide when you’re going to do it.

How to apologise: written apology or personal appearance?

There is a place for both, so let’s look at this in more detail together. I really want you to be as successful as you can be in improving your relationship, reputation and self-respect.

“Sorry” by text

Forget it! The only time you can use a text message is if you need to say sorry in advance for arriving later than expected!

Do visit my article on how to write a really effective Valentine’s day card messages even if Valentine’s day is way off. You can use the advice there at the time you want to profess your love more appropriately – particularly if there’s been a need for you to apologise!

Saying sorry by email

Consider apologising in this way only if you don’t know the other party personally. For example, if there’s been a minor misunderstanding with a supplier.

Offering an apology by card or letter

Yep – apology letters are potentially a reasonable way to say sorry.

(I’ll sometimes advise a client to write a letter to their partner, especially if they’re unlikely to be given a chance to say their piece face-to-face.)

It is even more attentive if you accompany your letter with a bouquet of flowers or another thoughtful gift.

Writing a letter is also a good idea if, for example, you want to make a public apology to a group of people.

Let your words incubate for a couple of days, reread your letter or card several times, and imagine the receiver in different moods: angry, sad or happy.

Before you send or give a letter, let a trusted person read it first to eliminate any blind spots and prevent unintended consequences as much as possible.

Below is a sample letter of apology. If you’re apologising to your partner or spouse, you may also want some more loving ideas in which case I have you’re back too with 40 love quotes and thank you notes.

Do be careful to only use my sample words as a guide, and adapt the sentences to your needs and your own style. It’s essential that your letter sounds genuine, and not like something you’ve copied!

Try to strike a balance between showing that you’ve worked really hard to get it right and not overusing words you’re unfamiliar with.

To help you find the right words for how you feel, have a look at my list of emotions and feelings.

Sample sincere apology letter

Dear …

I am writing to express my sincere / sincerest apologies for my insensitive actions / behaviour / words / disregard / blunder / my failure to…

I very quickly realised / On reflection I realise that I was very wrong to assume / lash out / ignore / find fault with / accuse/blame…

(I have, of course, no excuse. I can only say that was feeling overwhelmed/tired/confused or I had had a long day/I clearly and regrettably had too much to drink.

These are the actions I have undertaken to address that problem / those problems, so as to prevent …. happening again.

AND/OR

I realise that my behaviour / oversight / omission was totally inappropriate, inexcusable and disrespectful.

I can only imagine the hurt / distress / embarrassment / awkwardness I have caused to… and the damage that it has done to our relationship / your reputation / your chances of… / your trust in me (be careful not to talk about yourself here!).

I hope that you will allow me the opportunity to express my apology again in person.

AND/OR

I would appreciate the opportunity to put right my wrongs and prove to you that I have learned from my mistake.

I will, of course, accept that I may have caused (irreparable) damage and may no longer be…

OR

I appreciate I may no longer… / I understand if you need some more time before…

Yours sincerely,

Expressing your remorse by telephone

This is only suitable if you live too far away to offer an apology in person within a reasonable time of the mistake.

The best way to start making amends

The best kind of apology is one that you deliver in person.

10 TIPS FOR OFFERING A PERFECT APOLOGY

  1. Pluck up the courage by reminding yourself of how you’ve ‘survived’ other difficult conversations (whether or not they were a success!) and how you’ve dealt with difficult situations in the past.
  2. Offer your apology in person – ideally. Your words will mean the most to the other person – but a token gesture (like a bunch of flowers or tickets to a concert etc.) will add to the impact. A published letter of apology may possibly help with this too (see further down).
  3. Make sure your timing is right.
  4. Spend some time talking about what your understanding is of the impact of your wrongdoing on your partner, colleague, friend or whoever else it might be (remember your research?).
  5. Take full responsibility for your role in the situation.
  6. Apologise unreservedly by saying something like: “I now know / I can see that my actions caused [what you have observed or heard], I am truly sorry for that. I know that by saying/doing that [specify your action or words], I have damaged [your reputation, our relationship, your trust, etc].
  7. Ask what you can do to help your partner or another party/person repair whatever was damaged.
  8. Make it up with flowers, tickets to a gig, concert or experience, chocolates, a bottle of wine and a card… but only as an addition – your words and actions are by far the most important factors.
  9. Truly make amends by taking whatever action is necessary for you to address the underlying problem that led to your mistake. This is THE most important point, as ‘just’ saying sorry – without some real soul searching – may lead to you falling into the same trap again. So, you may have to address that addiction, depression, nervous breakdown or repeated infidelity.
  10. Having said how sorry you are from the heart you now need to accept the other person’s reaction without judgement. He or she:
    – may need time to process everything that’s happened.
    – may not be able to accept your apology.
    – may only be able to meet you halfway.
    – may take the opportunity to express their anger and hurt.

Watch the video to learn how you could start that difficult conversation…

How to express your regret without creating an argument

Here are the things you should avoid at all costs when you’re apologising in person!

Do not have any expectations of the wronged person. Accept that they do not need to do or say anything in return for your apology. Following on from that …

Do not burden the other person with your guilt – only you are responsible for overcoming your guilty feelings

Do not start blaming the other party – apologising unreservedly means that you take full responsibility for your part of the problem. It may well be that others were also to blame, but now is not the time to point the finger. For further information on how to get that conversation right, see my article on how to stop arguing in a relationship.

Is it really your fault?

I’m only addressing this very briefly because the focus of this article is really on how to say sorry.

However, some people feel guilty all too quickly – they almost apologise for being alive. This is invariably linked to poor self-esteem and you may even benefit from learning how to deal with toxic shame.

If your self-esteem is in your boots and you have a tendency to apologise for just about anything, then please read my articles about building your self-esteem. I would so love you to feel better about yourself.

Also, if you have a controlling partner, you’re possibly at risk of at least emotional abuse (see my article on emotional abuse signs). This isn’t necessarily the case, of course, but if this rings a bell with you then it’s worth considering.

Your partner may be manipulating situations so that you end up saying sorry for something that wasn’t your fault or didn’t require an apology. Under these circumstances, you may start to suffer from excessive guilt. No wonder!

However, if an apology is in order and you really do need to say “Sorry, I was wrong.”.

There can be consequences you haven’t taken into account

When you’ve majorly ‘screwed up’, I suspect you’re in an emotional turmoil.

Do consider, therefore, connecting with a professional – online – licensed therapist. He or she can support and guide you. They can help you figure out not only how best to apologise, but also how to limit the damage. For further information see my page: Online relationship advice.

The Simple Question that Can Repair a Broken Relationship | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network

How to get immediate help from a licensed counsellor

Your problem is never too small or too big, too silly, too embarrassing or too complicated to get personal advice (anonymous if you want) from a licensed therapist. They’ll be happy to help.

  • Click the image below and answer a few questions about yourself and your situation (it takes just a few minutes).
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10+ apology letter for hurt feelings

sample apology letter for hurt feelings

1. Sample Apology Letter


Hey Aaron,

I wanted to apologize for what I said to Scott at dinner. I spoke without thinking and didn’t take his feelings into consideration. There’s no arguing that what I said was lousy, and I want to make sure you know that I recognize that and feel horrible about it.

When you chose me to be Scott’s godfather 17 years ago, you knew I’d always be there to encourage him and steer him in the right direction. When he announced at dinner the other night that he’d chosen to major in Communications, I couldn’t help thinking of myself as a confused freshman in college—especially how I had chosen Communications and suffered for it when it came time to look for a job.

That was a foolish comparison to make, and I shouldn’t have told Scott that it was a useless major to have. Scott is far more determined and driven than I ever was at that age. I should have known that his choice of major wasn’t frivolous. I should have known that he would be very excited to tell us, and I should have known how to let down he would be to get such a discouraging response from me.

There are plenty of things I should have said, but I didn’t. As Scott’s father and my best friend, I can only imagine how upsetting the whole situation was. I spoke with him myself and, while he says it’s no big deal, I understand just how strongly my words affected him. I can promise you with all my heart that I will never discourage his endeavors ever again, and I hope that I can build up your trust in me again. I want you to feel confident that I will be a good role model and friend for Scott. I won’t say a word in the future without really thinking it over first and keeping Scott’s best interests and feelings in mind.

We’ve been through a lot together, and I want to continue sharing my life and my family’s life with you and yours. My reaction was completely inappropriate—a huge lapse in judgment on my part—and for that, I extend to you and the whole family my sincerest of apologies.

Best,

Charles

Sample Apology Letter to Teacher

Dear Mrs. Fischer,

I am writing to apologize for passing notes in class.

I realize that you were discussing important concepts that are going to help us write our upcoming analysis essays and do well on the final, and I should have been paying closer attention. From now on, I’ll limit my classroom communication to helpful comments that are related to the subject matter and wait to discuss personal things until after class.

I also wanted to thank you for giving me a warning instead of detention because my coach would have benched me if I had been late to practice. I promise you won’t have to make that decision again.

Sincerely,


Bill Tammen

Sample Business Apology Letter

Dear Mr. Hancock,

I am writing to apologize for the manner in which I spoke to you today at the weekly conference.

I’ve been with this company for five years now, and I’ve developed a very close relationship with my colleagues. When you mentioned a misappropriation of funds and the investigation, I immediately went on the defense, as I couldn’t imagine who could possibly be involved. That was wrong of me. It’s not my place to make a judgment like that, and I completely understand the severity of the situation.

If I had wanted to share a grievance, I should have waited until after the meeting to speak with you in private, rather than engaging in an argument with you in front of everyone. This was a poor judgment call on my part, and I accept full responsibility. I also realize resolving this issue may require disciplinary action.

It was not my intention to challenge your authority; rather, I allowed an emotional response to a sensitive topic cloud my vision. This sort of behavior is not something I have ever engaged in in the workplace, and it is not something you will ever see again.

The inquiry team has my complete cooperation, and I can promise going forward to leave that kind of emotion at the door. I trust and respect your judgment.

Sincerely,

William Barnes

I'm sorry for {state action}. I can see that my behavior and attitude was hurtful and totally unnecessary. You did not deserve to be on the receiving end of my.

Saying You're Sorry

sample apology letter for hurt feelings

How to Write an Apology Letter

Sample Apology LettersForming Your ApologyApologizing CorrectlyFormatting Your LetterShow 1 more...Show less...Article SummaryQuestions & AnswersRelated Articles

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While apologizing in person often conveys more sincerity, there are times when a formal, written apology might be your only option or could otherwise be the preferred method. To write an apology letter, you'll need to address your error early in the letter, acknowledge the other party's hurt feelings, and accept full responsibility for your part in the matter. In many cases, you'll also need to offer a solution that will fix any underlying issues related to the original problem. If you want to make sure that your apology is effective and doesn't cause even more hurt, aim for both clarity and sincerity while you write.

Steps

Part 1

Forming Your Apology

  1. 1

    State what your letter is about. It’s a good idea to begin by letting them know that this letter is an apology. This will give them the chance to put themselves, emotionally, in the right place to read the rest of your letter. You don’t want them to be confused about why you’re writing or what you’re going to say.[1]
    • Say something like: “I wanted to write you a letter to apologize for what i did”.
  2. 2

    State your mistake and be nice about it. Now that you’ve acknowledged that you’re apologizing, say what you’re apologizing for and why it was incorrect. Be very exact and descriptive don't leave any thing out. By fully putting it out there in the open, the person that you’re apologizing to will know that you do really understand what you did.[2]
    • Say something like: “What I did last weekend was horribly inappropriate, disrespectful, and wildly selfish. Your wedding is supposed to be all about your happiness and celebrating your love. By proposing to Jessica, I turned that focus on to me. I tried to steal your moment and that was wrong.”
  3. 3

    Acknowledge how much you have hurt them. Acknowledge that they have been hurt and that you understand just how hurtful it was. This is usually a good time to also mention that you never intended for them to be hurt.[3]
    • Say something like: “Jacob told me that my actions ruined not only your experience of your wedding, but also are now making your honeymoon less than the incredible experience that it should be. I hope you understand that that was never my intention. I wanted you to be able to look back on this time and remember only happy things but I have ruined that with my selfish actions. I've robbed you of those happy memories. While I can't truly know how this feels to you, I can certainly understand that what I did was one of the worst things I could possibly have done to you.”
  4. 4

    Express your gratitude. If you want to, though it is not required, you can acknowledge all the hard work and good things that they've done for you in the past. This shows them that you appreciate them and can help show that you really do feel bad about what you've done.[4]
    • Say something like: “This is an especially terrible thing for me to have done to you after how warmly you have accepted me into your family. You have not only shown your incredible, beautiful love to my brother, but you have also shown me support and kindness that I never could have possibly expected. To hurt you in this way was an insult to all the things that you have done for me and I hate myself for that.”
  5. 5

    Accept responsibility. This is one of the most important parts of an apology but can be the hardest to say. Even if the other person did make some mistakes, acknowledgement of that does not belong in this letter. What you do need to do is admit your responsibility for your mistake openly and without reservation. You might have had good reasons for doing what you did but that shouldn't keep you from saying that your actions caused someone to get hurt.[5]
    • Say something like: “I would try to offer an explanation for what I did, but there are no excuses. My intentions, though good, don't matter here: only my poor choices. I absolutely take responsibility for my selfish actions and the terrible pain I have caused you.”
    • Don't make excuses for your actions but you can explain your reasoning very carefully. If you really feel like it's needed or would make the situation better, you can explain why you made the choice that you made. This should be done only if you think understanding your choices would give the person you hurt some comfort.
  6. 6

    Offer a solution that will lead to change. Just saying that you're sorry isn't really enough. What really gives an apology some punch is finding a way to solve the problem in the future. This is better, even, than just saying that it will never happen again. When you offer a plan for change and how you're going to go about it, this shows the person that you're really serious about making the situation better.[6]
    • Say something like: “But just being sorry isn't enough. You deserve better. When you come home, Jessica and I would love to throw a big welcome-home party in your honor. This will be the party to end all parties and it will be 100% devoted to celebrating the incredible love you share with my brother. If you would rather not do this, that's fine: I just want to find some way to help you create the incredible, happy memories that I took away from you. ”
  7. 7

    State a desire to have better interactions in the future. You shouldn't just outright ask for forgiveness. This places demands, whether you intend it or not, on a person whom you have already wronged. It is better to express what you really want, which is for the two of you to interact in a better way in the future.[7]
    • Say something like: “I can’t expect your forgiveness, though I certainly hope for it. All I can say is that I truly want things to be okay between us. I want you to feel okay and eventually even happy when you're around me. I want to earn back the wonderful relationship that we had. Hopefully, in the future, we can find a way to move past this and create happier times together.”

Part 2

Apologizing Correctly

  1. 1

    Don't promise change unless you are 100% sure you can deliver. This is very important. If you made a mistake that you feel you are likely to repeat or that stems from inherent differences in personality or values, you do not want to promise them that you will change. This is because you will likely make the mistake again and future apologies, for anything really, will ring hollow.[8]

  2. 2

    Watch what language you use. Apologizing is a skill. We naturally don't want to do it and will fight against it a lot of the time. This is why, if you want to apologize correctly, you'll want to be careful about your language. Some phrases and words sound like an apology but actually make the situation worse because they show that you really aren't sorry. It's easy to use these words by accident, so be conscious as you're writing your letter. Examples include:[9]
    • "Mistakes were made..."
    • "If" statements like "I'm sorry if your feelings got hurt" or "If you felt bad about this..."
    • "I'm sorry that you felt that way."
  3. 3

    Be sincere and genuine. When you apologize, you need to be sincere and genuine about it. If you can't be, in some cases it might be better to wait until you really are sorry before apologizing. When you write your letter, skip the form language and cliches. Don't just copy some letter that you find on the internet. You want what you say to be specific to your situation so that the person you're apologizing to knows that you really understand what happened and why it was bad.[10]

  4. 4

    Keep expectations and assumptions out of your letter. You don't want your letter to sound demanding, rude, or create further insult. You don't want to try to or appear to try to guilt someone into forgiveness. You don't want to make assumptions about how they feel or why they're upset, because you might end up showing how little you understand about what happened. With all of the language you use, it's better to take a tone that is humble and leaves them feeling in control of the situation. This sort of language is most likely to help them forgive you.[11]

  5. 5

    Wait a day or two before mailing it. If possible, wait a few days before sending your letter. You want to be able to read it when you're a little more emotionally removed from what you wrote.

Part 3

Formatting Your Letter

  1. 1

    Choose the best way to start the letter. With an apology, you'll want to start your letter with the usual "Dear,....." It is better not to get flowery with your language at the start of the letter and to keep the salutation as basic as possible.

  2. 2

    End your letter gracefully. If you don't know how else to end your letter, default to the basic "Sincerely..." However, you can also get a little more creative if you want to keep the letter sounding less like a basic letter. Try phrases like "I sincerely thank you for hearing me out" or "Again, I deeply apologize for the problems my actions caused, and I hope I can work to make it right."

  3. 3

    Account for a formal apology. If you're writing an apology letter in a professional or formal setting, then you're going to need to be sure that the letter looks formal. Aside from having it nicely printed, you should also add things like the date, your name, the name of your organization, your written signature, and other formatting associated with a formal letter as needed.[12]
    • You'll also need to adjust the syntax of your letter to sound formal and better fit the situation.

Community Q&A

Add New Question
  • Question

    Should I decorate the letter or keep it simple?

    You should keep it simple and professional. You don't want it to look like a joke or like you are not taking the apology seriously.

  • Question

    How do I apologize for something that is being overreacted?

    Different people react to things in different ways; what to you may seem an overreaction is very real to that person. Apologize sincerely and offer to make amends.

  • Question

    I am required to write an apology letter for something I never did. What should I do?

    Acknowledge how the other person feels. Be empathetic and sincere in acknowledging their pain, fear or disappointment. If the letter is being forced by the courts or mediation, then both parties know that it is not "genuine" as it is not spontaneous. However, by letting the other party know that you at least understand how they feel, you may help heal the rift. If the powers that be demand that you accept responsibility for something you truly didn't do, then you have a more difficult situation. You can stand on your principles and refuse but there may be consequences.

  • Question

    How can I write a patient to doctor apology letter? I was awful to my doctor and I want to say sorry.

    Dear Dr [last name here] I'm writing to apologize for the way I acted towards you at my last appointment. I fully regret the words I said and should not have told how to do your job, I take full responsibility for everything that happened and hope we can move past this incident. Yours Sincerely... [Your signature here)

  • Question

    How can I write an apology letter for having food in a dorm?

    If it is to the staff, write a letter stating why you brought food in, and that you will respect the dorm and not do it again. If it is to a roommate, it is best to apologize in person.

  • Question

    How can I figure out why I did something bad?

    If someone is upset with you, tell them this: "It seems as if I hurt your feelings without realizing it. It was never my intention to hurt you, so could you please tell me what I did so I can learn from my mistake? I am not quite sure where I went wrong."

  • Question

    How should I give this letter to my friend? Is there a correct way?

    You could mail it to them, which could make it feel more sincere and give them a chance to think it over and accept the apology before seeing you. You could also say, "I just wanted to give you this letter" and give it to them the next time you see them, as long as it's not an inconvenient time (e.g., they're out and about and have nowhere to put it).

  • Question

    How do I write a letter required by the police if I am not sorry?

    Try to sound as sincere as possible. Try looking at your crime through the victim's perspective.

  • Question

    How do I apologize to the government for using a false name?

    Just be straight forward. Admit your at fault, apologize, tell them it was a silly idea to use a false name and that you now realize you could have been more mature.

  • Question

    How do I write an apology letter for not picking up my friend at the airport?

    Say sorry, explaining briefly why you did not show up. Explain how you will ensure it doesn't ever happen again. Ask for forgiveness.

Show more answers

Ask a Question

Tips

  • Simply say what you mean and mean what you say. Sincerity is key. If you make a promise, stick to it.
  • You may have to bury your pride when you apologize. Pride gets you nothing; good relations can often become priceless.
  • Make sure that your letter is not too short. Just two or three sentences will not do the trick here. Show the person that you put time and effort into this letter.
  • If you have difficulty with wording your letter, ask a friend or family member for assistance. They will know what is expected of you, and be more than happy to help.
  • Make sure the letter is short and sweet; get to the point and take full responsibility.
  • Try to state that it was your fault, do not attempt to blame it on someone else. This shows responsibility and maturity.
  • Try to explain why you did what you did. It might make the person feel better if they know you weren't being malicious.

Warnings

  • Don't add anything that makes the person feel bad. They will not take the letter to heart, and probably won't forgive you.
  • Remember that sorry doesn't magically fix everything. If the other person decides not to forgive you, move on and know that you tried.
WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: How to Write a Personal Apology Letter -- Apology Letter Kaise Likhe

Knowing how to say sorry and apologise sincerely and gracefully However rough you're feeling right now and however confused you are about physically (know what to do when your partner physically hurts you) or financially. . Writing a letter is also a good idea if, for example, you want to make a.

sample apology letter for hurt feelings
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