The loss of a baby is a devastating loss to expecting parents and can be extra difficult when there is a I am deeply sorry to hear about the death of your baby.
Condolences can be extremely awkward. The inclination is to share your grief with another who is grieving even more, but that doesn’t feel quite right, does it?
Even in the moment, you feel it: a cringing brittleness rather than the embrace of solace.
You don’t want to add to their pain, whether it be at the actual funeral or even by the time the bereaved have returned to the general flow of society.
So we generally say “Sorry for your loss,” yet are there any four words that drill inward deeper and heavier than those four by-the-numbers indicators of discomfort?
The phrase has become so overused there’s no way for it to be heard as anything other than obligatory – a token gesture – and even though it means well, every word is a barb.
“Sorry” sets the bereaved in a guilty space. Even when we’re in the throes of grief, we don’t want others suffering on our behalf.
Sorry is the word we hear from someone who’s wronged us, but in the context of grief, it becomes we’ve wronged you with an emotional burden that you’re politely trying to deflect.
“For” becomes the direct line connecting the bereaved’s dead to your discomfort.
“Your” isolates the bereaved, effectively saying that even though you may feel compassion for them, the true loss is theirs to deal with, not yours.
“Loss.” As if the bereaved could have held on. As if they weren’t able to maintain life for their loved one.
Loss. Someone is gone, and the bereaved cannot get them back. No matter where they look they will not find them. Everything that person was is no more. All connective threads to them? Severed. The bereaved, as the survivor, is alone.
A universe of hurt in the span of one breath. “Sorry for your loss.”
But in your offer of comfort, you don’t know this because the bereaved person musters a wan smile, a quick embrace, and – probably for one of multiple times before yours – successfully fights back tears in order to say, “Thank you.”
Can we do better? I think we can. We have it in us to be gentler with our compassion, be genuine with our aid, and be truly unafraid to be there for someone.
What to say in situations where words are simply not enough?
This can be one of the most powerful things to say to someone who’s grieving. “I’m here for you.”
It doesn’t have to be a grand outpouring of emotion; compassion isn’t like a carnival game of reaching a certain level to ring a bell.
It should project the awareness that you’ll hold space for another, however they need it and on their time, allowing the bereaved to pour themselves into you in order to rest, recuperate, and reclaim a sense of connection after the trauma of a final goodbye.
Accompanied with a touch – perhaps a hug (hugs generally work best), perhaps the gentle taking of a hand, the moment will tell – this phrase tells the bereaved they are not alone: not alone in grief, not in their sense of solitude, not in having to shoulder sudden and massive amounts of uncertainty.
When we go through trials, even (or especially) the most common, most inescapable of trials, one that visits the world innumerable times a day, death, the most beautiful things we receive are the reassurances that we are not alone.
Death rides hard and fast when it brings its news of mortality, leaving us confused and unsure of our bearings as we flail inside the dust of its passing. Everything familiar becomes illusory and monstrous.
Wishing someone “Peace and be well” in whatever variation of that phrase that feels comfortable to the tongue, is a powerful, stabilizing force.
It lets the bereaved know that peace is possible, and the amount of strength in that reassurance can be a godsend to someone grasping for balance.
“Be well” acknowledges the twisting illness they might feel. Together, peace and wellness form a wish from one in a vantage of strength to one in present need of hope, providing a sense of clarity to come.
Even when we don’t feel as if peace is anywhere nearby, we want to know that it can be.
As with “I’m here for you,” “You have my heart and support” bridges the sudden gulf from community to isolation a death can create in the mind of someone dealing with such a loss.
“My heart” tempers the hard edge of shared grief in a way that “sorry,” “sorrow,” or any variation of that grey, mournful word all fall short of achieving.
“You have my heart and support” isn’t a reminder of loss in the way “Sorry for your loss” is, but a promise of solidarity no matter how grief tries to tear one’s sense of normalcy down.
This is hugely important in grounding a person during a time of personal upheaval.
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Sometimes if you have to say something, say it with ellipses. Nobody hearing “I know it’s hard…” needs you to finish that sentence.
Pretending to be strong is the first hurdle of the bereaved. Merely letting them know that you know the valleys, hills, and struggles they are about to endure – and will endure – releases them from the strain of that pretense.
In a way, it pre-congratulates them for reaching the end of the journey intact, strengthened, and prepared for the next inescapable trial.
Perhaps this one doesn’t need to be said.
Despite all we do, consoling words will always feel like seeds on concrete under a roiling, grey sky.
We want to merge our hearts and minds with another’s to alleviate their pain, but words in the moment, not even those of poets, never quite feel adequate to the task.
When the bereaved have had time for reflection, maybe poets will do. Poetry can speak in ways the soul understands even when the mind doesn’t.
But there are times when the moment calls for the pure and simple silence of the unspoken entreaty: let me help; allow me to grieve with you; sit down, rest, be.
This can be communicated by a tight hug; by offering a box of tissues when needed without being asked; by helping the bereaved out of their seat or even literally offering your shoulder for their head to lay; there are a million ways to show you are there for someone.
Words bridge a gap. “Deepest condolences on your loss,” “sympathy for your loss,” “sorry for your loss” are mere shadows of what’s in your heart.
No matter what you decide to say to someone, make sure that it is helpful.
Uplift them, be with them, let them know that you are not just another specter in a pageant of pain, one that begins to disappear to them even before all the funereal social obligations have been fulfilled.
The bereaved will have enough ghosts to contend with; compassion must lead you to be substantial.
It’s never easy finding the “right” words. If it were easy, it’d be meaningless.
It’s said we’re at our most human when we’re sorrowful or joyful; everything in between gets muddled. Words of compassion should express our humanity.
These suggestions may help or may not. They’re not meant to become new rubber stamps in lieu of the ragged, cracked one many of us use now, they’re solely guides.
Life is best when we let humanity, empathy, and a willingness to lift the pains of others from their shoulders guide us, even when only for a moment.
A lot can be done and said in the span of a breath.
Speak comforts and speak them well.
'Sorry to hear of your loss.' ” April Masini, who writes about relationships and etiquette for her website Ask April, said in an email that offering.
A short condolence message is a message of sympathy sent to loved ones, friends and acquaintances during their time of grief. They can be accompanied by gifts, flowers, condolence cards or anything that can make the bereaved feel better. Usually written in a very respectful manner, these brief words of sympathy are succint but heartfelt ways of telling our loved ones that we will always be there whenever they need us. You can take a cue from our compilation of thoughtful short condolence messages to tell your loved ones exactly how much their grief saddens you.
How to express condolence to others should not be hard, because as humans we have felt what it means to lose someone. Always remember than in expressing condolence, or sympathy, the goal is to offer as much compassion, concern and connection with the bereaved. You can express this by sharing memorable moments that you had with the deceased, or how you will equally miss the person.
At one point in time in our lives, we have lost something very important to us, most times we are pained. But this pain doesn’t last forever as we know we might be able to replace the lost item. The case is not the same when we lose our loved ones, the pain lingers longer, and sometimes, forever. There are certain persons that come into our lives and changes it for the best. Whether family or friend, losing someone important can be a very sad thing to experience.
Words, when put write can go a long way in softening the hardest of hearts. There are things you can write to show your concern for the bereaved. The goal is to write something beautiful, soothing, and encouraging at the same time. At such, you have to carefully select your words to make perfect sense to the bereaved. When trying to write, make sure you sound as positive as possible. You need to calm the bereaved, and not cause more tension than there already is.
Some examples of what condolences to write can be. “I am deeply sorry for the loss of [the name of the deceased here] I wish to have you know that I am here to honor him/her and always remember him/her.” You can also say, “there are lots of things we did together, I’ll remember him/her for so many positive things that we did together.”
There are no right words, there’s nothing you could say that will make the pain go away. However, we have a selection of 150 short condolence messages you can send to a grieving person.
My thoughts are with you, even as my love goes out to you.
Thinking about you and your family in this time of need.
Call me if you need anything. May his/her soul find peace
This tragedy has devastated us all.
We will continue praying for you from our hearts
We sincerely hope peace finds you during this difficult time.
Our thoughts are with you, in this trying time.
Your loss saddens us; we are deeply sorry.
(Name) may have left out sight, but he/her shall never be forgotten
(Name) shall really be missed. Accept our sympathy.
We learned of (Name) untimely demise.
Losing a loved one is hard, but knowing you have people to walk you through the journey lightens the burden; you have me.
The news of (Name) demise came as a great shock to us. Please accept our condolence.
Dealing with loss is never easy.
We shall always be available when you need us.
A phone call is all you need to have me there with you.
Our hearts and thoughts remain with you as you mourn.
Sadnesss engulfed us the moment we learned of (Name) passing.
We shall always pray for you.
We may not know how sad the death of (Name) makes you. We hope you let us share in your grief.
If we can comfort you in anyway, please let us know.
Please accept my sympathy over the loss of (Name)
We pray time will heal and lighten the pain you feel.
We never forget our loved ones, their memories live in our hearts.
May loving memories of (Name) comfort you.
Always thinking of you and your family.
(Name) passing is quite a devastating news.
Take solace in the fact that (Name) is in a better place, till we meet him/her again, may he/she continue to rest with the Lord. Be strong.
You may not know this, but grieving can help you heal better, so take your time.
People like (Name) are truly rare.
My sincere condolences over the death of (Name)
Death relieves our loved ones of their suffering, but it puts us in pain… what a conflict.
Let me offer my sincere condolences to you.
Your family is sorrounded by people who genuinely love them, hope that will help you get through this.
Draw strength from (Name) memories.
We may not understand exactly how you feel, but we sympathize with you at this time.
Let me know right away, if you ever need my help.
Our deepest condolences, from the family of (Name).
Be patient, time heals all wounds.
Let the love of people who care help you through this journey.
(Name) soul has found rest
Prayers are known to ease burdens, you are currently in mine.
Please take things easy, take time to grieve and get better, accept my sympathy.
(Name) continues to rest in God’s bossom
(Name) is now with the angels above.
The Lord has taken away (Name) suffering. We just hope He gives us the strength to deal with this sorrow.
We sympathize with you over the loss of (Name). He//She was a very great person. My sympathies.
We received with shock, the news of (Name) passing. Our condolences.
We were (Name) colleagues. He/She shall surely be missed. Accept our condolences.
Let the fun memories you created with (Name) help you get through this.
We sympathize with you, with heavy hearts.
Sorry for your loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sorry to hear about (Name) passing. May God give you the fortitude to bear this loss.
The tragic loss of (Name) deeply saddens me.
The death of (Name) truly saddens me.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Never forget, you have friends who love you.
(Name) definitely left his/her prints on the sands of time.
(Name) was a rare gem.
Just learned (Name) is no longer with us.
Heard about (Name) sudden demise.
We shall continually pray for you and your family.
Sorry for your loss.
How to write a Condolence Message In Moments of Grief?
It is very necessary to offer our condolences to grieving loved ones, not just to show we care, but to also show that we are willing to support them, come what may. Many of us however, do not really know how to accurately explain how we feel with words. Writing a sympathy message involves a lot of deep emotion, this is why it is not usually easy. Words of encouragement after death are usually personal and touching and should be carefully written to so as not to pass the wrong message. Our list of condolence messages will help you find the exact words to describe how you feel.
The news of (Name) death came as a shock to me.
So sorry to receive the news of (Name) passing.
Death is inevitable, we know,but when it happens, we just cannot help but feel sad.
The news of (Name) death, saddened us greatly.
I was shocked to hear about the tragic loss of (Name)
Please accept my deepest condolences.
Losing someone you love is never easy.
Hope you know we are here for you.
Just one phone call, if you ever need to hear a kind voice
If you need anything, please do not hesitate to reach out.
Our love goes out to you.
We are deeply saddened to learn about (Name) passing
Words cannot express how much we sympathize with you in this time of sorrow.
As you deal with the demise of (Name), just know our thoughts are with you.
You are in our hearts, whatever you need.
Please accept our heartfelt condolences sympathies for your loss
May your sorrow lighten with each passing day.
Love heals all wounds,we hope you continually carry (Name) love in your heart.
May (Name) memories comfort you.
My heart goes out to your and your family. Accept my sympathy.
(Name) passing is a very terrible tragedy
Tears can heal the soul, so take all the name you need to mourn and heal.
My sincere condolences to you and your family
Death never seems fair, but at least we take solace in the fact that our loved ones are relieved from their suffering.
People like (Name) are few on Earth. He/she shall surely be missed.
I want to extend my heartfelt sympathy to you
There are people who love you and your family, let that love sorround you
Focus on the good memories of (name) and let these memories bring you comfort
You must be going through a lot right now, but just know someone is thinking of you.
Whatever way we can help lighten your burden, just know we are here for you.
From my family with love, accept our deepest sympathies.
May you be patient enough to get through this journey
Let our love engulf you in this trying period
(Name) has found peace and freedom in God
(Name) is resting in the bossom of the Lord
(Name) soul has found rest
(Name) has left us with a lot of sorrow to deal with.
(Name) shall continue to rest eternally.
Sending thoughts of comfort and kindness to the grieving family.
We greatly sympathize with you and your family.
Friends share everything with love, even sorrow. That is exactly what we hope to do, as your friends.
If only words can express how sad your loss makes me. My condolences.
Words alone cannot express my sorrow; please accept my sympathy.
May her soul rest in peace. You have our support, whenever you need it.
A gem as special as (name) can never be forgotten,
Even as you go through this pain, you are not alone, my thoughts are with you.
Thinking of you, in this difficult time
Losing a spouse is never easy, we promise to help our beloved uncle get through this period.
The memory of people we love becomes a treasure when they are gone. Treasures are valuable, keep them safe.
Words cannot express how pained I am for your loss
Our earnest prayer, is that peace and comfort find you in this trying.
(Name) made good memories with you. May those memories help you find peace.
If your pain could be taken away, we would do just that, just to show how sorry we are.
May love sorround you enough to take your pain away.
May you find enough peace to comfort you.
The news of your loss deeply saddened us, we are truly sorry.
As a family, we sympathize with you and your family as you mourn
Heart felt sorrow and condolences, from my family to yours.
As you go through this dark time, just know you have my thoughts and good wishes
Faith in God as always, will fill the void you left in our hearts, Grandma
A thought of sympathy and love to the grieving family
Even as you are grieving, may you draw strength from the love of family and friends to stay strong.
God’s love heals, we pray it shall be available for you also, to make you feel better and lighter.
Hoping you get enough love from family and friends to help you through this journey.
As your friends, we are here to comfort you in this time of grief, please never forget that.
Even as the snows fall and leave you cold, I hope you will let my arms enfold you, to love and to hold.
Still praying for you, may you find strength to bear this loss.
May the Lord continue to strengthen you.
My family shall be at your beck and call during this trying time.
We can not take away your pain, we can only pray to God to give you a reason to smile again.
A person like (Name) can never be forgotten, but we take solace in the fact that he/she led a very great life.
There is nothing one can say to magically ease the pain of a loss so great, just know we share in your pain too.
Please accept my sincere condolences. Call if you need anything.
Even as (Name) has gone to be with our maker, we know we shall feel him/her smiling down on us.
We are (Name) co-workers and we shall really miss him/her. He/she has left a void quite big. Accept our condolences.
We sympathize with the family of (Name). We shall always remember you in our prayers and thoughts.
Our condolences to the family of (name), with love from (name)
Heaven gained an angel when you left us, but our tears and pain are still here.
I hope you accept my condolences for your loss
May you find love, strong enough to comfort you as you mourn
Words alone cannot describe how sad this makes us. We are deeply sorry.
More than anything, may you find peace and comfort.
You never have to feel alone, not when you have people like us who are ready to stand by you.
Condolence is to help relieve and comfort the bereaved. It is okay if you do not wish to comfort anyone, your comfort can go a long way in helping the bereaved heal faster. You also express condolences as a sign of love. When you love someone, you also check on their wellbeing.
Condolences prove that you have respect and regard for the dead person. If you miss the burial or do not show up at the time you are meant to over the death of someone dear to you, it can be termed to be hatred by other members of the family.
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy. That is why sometimes we are at loss as to how to console a grieving person. We do not want to be misunderstood as some good meaning words could turn out wrong, if not properly placed. Sympathy cards help us convey our condolences, in a very concise yet, heartfelt manner. When accompanied with some kind words, condolence cards can convey just how we feel about the loss our loved ones are dealing with. If you need any guide as regards how to pen down your thoughts, our carefully collated sympathy quotes will help you decide exactly what to write on your sympathy card.
noun: con·do·lence pronounced [kənˆdou ləns]
plural: con·do·lences pronounced [kənˆdou ləns iz]
1. Something you say or write to express sympathy when someone has died.
2. An expression of sympathy with someone who is grieving.
1. He carefully wrote his words of condolences in a card for his good friend.
2. Please accept my sincere condolences at the loss of your loved one.
Words of condolences are comforting words shared with a person who has suffered the loss of a dear one. Choosing the right words to say at such a time can be quite challenging, but you can do so quickly by selecting from the following phrases. Salutations to Accompany Your Words of Condolences
The examples below demonstrate how to begin a condolence letter with an appropriate salutation or greeting.
Some words of comfort you can use to open your letter and express your sorrow are:
At this point in your letter you can also say some kind words about the deceased. The following sympathy phrases are popular and appropriate:
Bible verses can make excellent words of condolences. Use one of the following:
Using Social Media platforms such as Twitter and Facebook is very acceptable in today’s society. Some short phrases you can use for texts, instant messaging, emails, and tweets, are:
Keep It Sensitive and Simple- when writing words of condolences, and do say the following:
Makes sure you avoid these common spelling mistakes if substituting your own words for any in our samples.
She was a wonderful woman, and I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences for the loss of your mother. From all I heard about her, she.
Loosing a loved one is one of the hardest things anyone can go through.
If you’re friend or relative lost a loved one, send them a sympathy bouquet with a thoughtful message, to let them know that you are thinking of them and ask if they need help with anything else.
Here is some inspiration if you need a little help with messages of sympathy, in sad occasions like funeral you might struggle to find the right words:
sources: condolencemessages.net, sympathymessageideas.com, wishafriend.com and obituarieshelp.org
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If someone has lost a loved one and you say, "I'm sorry for your loss", when they . I am waiting to hear from others who wish to learn through this question so.