I can't stop loving you and no matter what I say or do you know my heart is true. True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. For Him · Heart and Soul.
Its started about 5 years ago when i was in school i was a very shy girl i never talked or been with any guy before that i was a complete nerd my mom changes my school where i fell in love for a guy who wasnt interested in me neither i confessed my feelings to him . Wallah my feelings were real i dont know where they came from but they just came into my way .
That guy started dating another girl i feel broken i use to cry whole nights keep reciting dua to Allah to reduce the pain i was so young at that time it was a duration of three years when both of them keep dating . But after two years allah talla grant mein sabar i wasnt that mad for him . I dont know what happen at that moment that guy came to me and confesses his love it was just like a miracle for me i was shocked that how allah talla fulfiled all my wishes it was like living a dream i accepted te propsal after sometime . I starting having faith in allah tallah even more because he makes that guy to love me . That guy who wasnt interested in me at all once . I always keep doing shukar to Allah . I just forget his past and everything because none of them matters more for me .
I wont lie that guy respected and loves me in the way every girl wishes for he deals me so softly he keep telling me that how much i matters and how much he love me it was the most beautiful year of my whole life with him he means the whole world to me . I just keep telling my friends how lucky and blessed i am to have him . Then slowly we start heading towards fights we use to fight a lot every week almost but it was always our love which just takes all the problems away we were madly in love . I give him whatever i can i consider him as my husband . I always keep doing shukar to allah for giving me what i have .
I decided to take admission in the same university he is taking . He dont want to go to university it was me who insisted him because i wanted to be with him every time he want to study private but i just keep persuading him and finally we both came in the same university . I considered it as the biggest mistake of my life . We were having a good time though we fights alot but use to sort it out soon . We were happy .
One day while we were on call he told me he proposed his ex again the girl which he dated before me i was always insecure from her and finally something like this happened . Oh i cant elaborate the way i felt that moment i can describe i just cant believe that how he could do this he further said that i was thinking to propose her form a long time . I asked him if she'd accepted the proposal what you have said to me . He said that i would have the courage to face you ever again . I cut the call . I contacted to his ex she is a goid friend if mine too . She told me that he said to her that letting her go was the biggest mistake ever he still had feelings for her. Then his ex asked him what about your recent girlfriend he said that she is okay with it she always say me that whenever i want to correct my mistake i can . Which is actually true i said that many times that if you ever feel going back to her you can because i dont wanthim to live with me with his choice i never restricted him .
He did something which i can never believe that he could do . His girlfriend rejected the proposal because she was dating some else and happy . He told me that she didnt feel any thing for him sje regretted him in ever possible way he was just a mistake to him she said that he is a terrible person amd she cant think of dating him again .
I was in a shock in an unexplainable pain he cheats me for a girl who considered him as a mistake when i consider him as the best thing ever happened to me . After some time that guy appologized me and tell me how sorry he feels he said that he didnt love her he just do that because of some past mistakes he wanted to correct . I dont know what happened to me in that moment i forgave him and smiled like nothing happened i dont know why i love him that much why i cant resist him . And that day i realise even if he cheated me a thousand times i would have forgiven him tbat thousand times . Because thats how he matter for me thats how i much feel for him .
We were back together i was soo happy . I keep loving him . But the problems keep coming in our way we fight alot at every thing we brokeup many times but it was me who keep coming back and apologizing him who keep shedding tears i agree i also hurted him many time i be soo rude to him but he also does that he insulted me mamy times . Well it just start getting harder and harder everytime .
And now it is the time when he doesnt care at all i used to text him keep crying to come backbut he doesnt he is very happy in his life with his friends but i just cant think of amythi g but him i want him everytime i need him . He is very annoyed by my behaviour he wanted me to move on and i keeo texting him telling him that how much i need him i cant live without him . Sometimes i feel like ending my life he tells me one day that her mattered to him more than me . I keep crying and asking him to giving me one mire chance ge never wantedme back . He said that he will marry a girl if he finds him suitable for his faimly and himself . He behaves like a person who had no feelings . He said that i do drama to provoke him . He stopped loving me . I can never overcome him the things he said to me that he would never leave me we will marry and have children he will stand for me whatever the situation and now he doesnt feels the same for me he left me crying and broken waoting for him .
I cant overcome this feeling the pain and depression . I cant marry anyone i considered him as my husband and now even the feel of marrying any other guy feels like a knife in my chest . I keep praying allah to give him back to me i keep praying allah to end my life if i cant have him . Everyone says that i am beautiful i can get whomever i want but trust me whenever i stands in front of mirror i keep realising that what is the use of this pretty looks for me if i cant have him if he cant love me . I dont know what to do i feel lime no one will ever understand what i am going thorough what i am facing my love for him is killing me inside the memory of both of us us taking my spul away from my body . My eyes are tired of shedding tears ..
And we need to accept that some people will never love us, no matter what we do . You Can't Make Someone Love or Commit to You Still, I couldn't stop.
This was my 3rd marriage and 3rd abusive relationship. It appears I keep being attracted to them and worse yet, staying with them.
I was married to my last husband for 8 years. It was good at first and he worked hard to get me to the point I wouldn't flinch when he touched me. I was so happy to have a man that cared for me, my grown children and my grandchildren.
Then slowly it began to unravel. The better it got, the more he drank and used that as an excuse for the things he did. First it was all emotional, the name calling, belittling me for my past which I had trusted him enough to tell him about.
Then it was the…I think the term is gas-lighting. Saying things then swearing he never did. Doing things that he knew I must be imagining.
Then it became physical, first just threats, then the pushing, shaking, eventually a black eye. There were times I knew it was not safe and I slept in my car or a hotel or even at work.
And he never asked where I was or why I left. He'd laugh when I cried and tell me take my "crazy pills" though I didn't take any psychiatric drugs.
Several times I asked him to leave, but then I would ask him to come back. He always did. The last time I filed for divorce because he said that was what he wanted, and I always gave him what he wanted, but it devastated me. I tried to commit suicide because I felt like I was nothing without him. I felt lonely.
But the real truth is that I am a strong, self-supporting professional woman. I took care of him, provided him with everything while he gave me nothing - not even sex. And I took that and still wanted him, still do. I know that I deserve better, I know that I am intelligent and sought after.
Yet, here I am, 10 months after he moved out and 5 months after our divorce and I still want to be with him, feel like I love him.
When and how can I stop loving him? How can I make the pain go away?
“It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.” ~Unknown
When we’re deep into something it’s hard to see clearly and to hear advice from others. It’s hard to focus on a solution when we are consumed with the problem.
It’s the difference between playing and watching a game of chess. It’s so much easier to see checkmate when you’re not the one playing the game.
That’s what happened to me for the last five years.
I spent every breathing moment consumed with a man, unable to listen to those who watched me struggle. I spent five years doing everything I could to try to force a man to love me, and in the process I forgot how to love myself.
For five years I chased. I begged. I cried. Nothing seemed to work. He would come around when he wanted sex but would push me away when he got his fix. It was a never-ending cycle of depression and humiliation.
I destroyed my reputation and slaughtered my dignity with my crazy behavior, and I still couldn’t understand why he would treat me with such little care. But how could he not? I treated myself with so little love and respect, why would he treat me any different?
Still, I couldn’t stop. I was afraid that if I did he would forget me. For five years I lived in fear of losing someone I deeply loved but never really had in the first place.
And then I got pregnant, in the midst of the chaos and passion that was our on-and-off relationship.
Everyone around me pressured me to have an abortion. I knew they were worried about me, but it just wasn’t for me. I don’t know if it was because I was carrying a child from a man I had loved for so long or if it was guilt, but I just knew I had to keep our son.
And even though my ex’s only consistency in life was his pattern of not raising his children, I blindly believed he would raise our child. While everyone told me he was going to bail again, I vouched for him. I broke off friendships and I fought with those who dared to accuse his character.
I was wrong.
From the moment I told him, he made it clear that he wasn’t going to come through for me. He hurt me during the most vulnerable time in my life. Then months later he told me he loved me.
We did this back and forth game throughout my entire pregnancy. It felt like an eternal emotional tug of war. It was draining. It was humiliating. It was hurtful. But every time he left I chased him because it was the only thing I knew how to do.
I chased him out of fear.
I chased him for me.
I chased him for our son.
I chased him for the home and family I had built in my mind for so many years.
I chased him out of embarrassment for how others would see me. The possibility that people would think I wasn’t worthy enough for him after I got pregnant was more than I could handle.
And most importantly: I chased him because I was emotionally sick.
Although I was able to pull him in a couple more times after my son was born, only to be pushed away weeks later, I still held on to hope that one day he was going to wake up and realize he loved me. And the three of us would finally be a family.
That never happened, of course. My son and I never got that family. And I now know we never will.
I think the hardest part of this five-year ordeal was accepting that my perspective of reality was just a fantasy I had created in my mind.
For the longest time I held on to this idea of love and my ex. I put him and our connection on a pedestal. I idolized and worshiped every part of him.
But when he blocked me from his life, leaving our son fatherless, that pedestal came crashing down, smashing every dream and every good feeling I had for him.
It was hard to walk up to my friends and say, “You were right.” It was even harder to come to terms with the reality that he is less than perfect.
Part of me hates myself for holding on for so long. I could have saved myself years of heartache and gallons of tears if I had just accepted that I couldn’t make him love me. Instead, I spent years questioning over and over why he couldn’t.
I spent another year trying to force him to be a dad.
If only I had tried harder. If only I had been nicer. If only. If only. It took me years to accept that his actions had nothing to do with me. Just like my uncontrollable behavior and emotional instability was beyond him, his actions were about him and him only.
He had his first two children in his early twenties. He then had his third child with another woman in his late twenties, and then he had our son in his mid thirties. Four children. Three different women. Three different sets of circumstances and times in his life. All the same result.
It was never about my son and me. There is nothing I could have done. There is nothing I could have been. The result would’ve been the same: him out the door. Or more precisely, him kicking us out the door.
He is now in love with someone else. As expected, a baby-free someone else. And he is committed to her—which proves that when a man wants to commit, he will commit. There is no need for us to beg and chase him.
If a man is not committing to you, or your child, he just doesn’t love you.
It might sound harsh, but that’s just the way life is.
Loving someone who doesn’t love us back, or even worse, someone who loves someone else, is the most painful thing in the world. But the most important thing we can do for ourselves is accept that certain things are beyond our control and take responsibility for the things that are.
We need to listen to that inner voice that tells us we deserve to be loved. And we need to accept that some people will never love us, no matter what we do.
The grief and the pain will eventually pass. And this will open the door for us to find someone else who will truly love us and give us everything we wanted with our ex.
But first we have to give up hope. It will never be the way we want it to be. That person you’re waiting on won’t wake up one day and realize they loved you all along.
Giving up hope is the hardest part of moving on, but it’s the most important.
We can’t complain about someone hurting our feelings if we keep letting them. We can’t complain about someone mistreating us if we keep coming back. And we can’t complain about wasted time if we keep walking in circles.
If I had spent the last five years putting the same amount of effort into myself as I did chasing, controlling, and trying to get my ex to love me, I would have been president of the United States by now.
I will never get the last five years back. It was a lot of wasted time and it was a lot of wasted effort.
Wasted time is wasted life.
Brisa Pinho is a project manager, aspiring writer, and single mother of a baby boy. She lives in Los Angeles and when she is not changing diapers and putting out temper tantrums, she is drinking wine and over-analyzing her life. She can found at www.singlemomoutloud.com, where she shares the joys and desperation of single life and motherhood.
Loving someone you can't have can take a large emotional toll on You should stop being hard on yourself if you're not entirely over him or.
I am just so sad. I just want to sit and cry forever. I miss him so much. I didn’t talk to him today and I know that’s what I wanted but I keep thinking about him all the time. Wondering about where he is and what he’s doing. I know that I really don’t want to know but why won’t my mind and heart stop? I feel like I will never be happy again. I feel like I will never find love again. Why? What did I do to deserve this crap? I always did my best by him, so why did he just drop me like yesterday’s garbage? I don’t understand. Why did this have to happen to me? It just hurts so much. Will I ever be happy again? Does this ever get any better? I just feel like it never will.
Getting over someone can sometimes appear to be impossible. It feels really bad when you fall in love with someone you can’t have. It feels even worse when you are sure that this relationship can never work out. I think that this is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. I believe that to forget someone is one of the hardest assignments given in life, especially if you had this gut feeling that he/she is the ONE. Therefore all of these thoughts crossing my mind drove me deeply into the psychology of what is called falling wrongly into love.
Getting over someone you love will be a matter of weeks if not days.
If you think that pain is an essential part of love, if you think that lovers should suffer then stop reading. However, if you believe that exaggerated attachment is something that hinders you from living a happy life and if you believe that this pain is unnecessary then keep reading. Breakups won’t hurt like they used to, you wont label anybody as the one from now on and recovery is going to take place much faster.
How to get over someone you love
Since I am not a magician, I can’t say that a simple writing will do the job, and this pain won’t disappear in a blink of an eye, but remember, reading this will make you feel as you are a step closer to get rid of this pain that unfortunately could last for years.
Figuring out how to get over someone you love can be one of the most difficult things that any of us will ever have to do. The pain of loss can be very intense and finding the answers can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. You need to know that it will take a lot of time and some days will be harder than others. If you have been with someone for a long period of time, their absence can make you feel like a part of you is missing, like you just had your heart ripped right out of your chest. But once you discover how to get over someone you love, the pain in your heart will lessen and you sill start feeling more like your old self again.
Sometimes I wish I could just smack the idiot that came up with the phrase “Time heals all wounds“. Actually, the person that said that, is right. You may not want to hear this but, time is the exact remedy needed for this wound. That being said, it does not mean that you have to like it. I know that I never did. There are ways for you to take an active approach in helping time heal you a little faster though.
Start by ditching the photos. You do not need the constant visual reminder of happy times spent with that person drawing your attention at every turn. Throw away or put in storage any of their belongings that they have left behind. You may also want to consider trying to stay away from some of the places that the two of you used to hang out at. You will never find out how to get over someone you love if you are constantly running into them.
Don’t be afraid to use your friends as a sounding board. In most cases they have been through a painful break up too. Spend as much time with them as you can. When you are having a good time with friends, your mind will be occupied and you will not be thinking about that person so much. Just because you are trying to figure out how to get over someone you love does not mean that you should stop living your life. I know that this can be a very trying time in your life. Losing someone you love is never easy. But there is one thing that you may not have considered. Is it really and truly over between you and your loving person? If you really do love them it may be possible for you to get your loving person back. You can lose the love of your life due to both of :being foolish, stubborn, and too proud to admit that you are really in love and needed . Of course, you are the only one that can decide if the love you have is worth saving. If there is even a possibility that you can save your relationship, you really need to give it a try.
A Painful Process
To get over someone you love you have to realize that there are no easy answers. No matter how ready you think you are, the fact that you are asking yourself how to get over someone you love, means that it is going to be a painful process. It can be a slow process You might think you are over someone and a year later being reminded of that person and feel sad again. That does not mean that you’re not overcome the loving person.
If you are emotionally invested in a supposed relationship and it ends, it could make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that does not mean the sadness has to make you feel depressed. You can get over your loss and still know that it made you sad. It’s the period of time soon after the loss that will be the hardest to get passed. This is the period where you ask yourself how to get over someone you love and she does not love you back.
If the break up is a fresh one usually the only way to get over the pain is to face it straight out and let time pass. It is going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. Start with removing noticeable visual reminders of the person if possible. Pictures of them can be put away for now. Gifts they gave you can also be put away for now. Avoiding the places you used to go together is a good idea as well. This tip can be found in lists everywhere on how to get over a lost love so it is at least a popular idea that is worth trying.
Free your mind from worries. Live simple. Give more. Expect less.
Living Life after the Breakup
If you are having difficulty living your life after the breakup, it might be a good idea to seek counseling. Simply let the counselor know that you just went through a break up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer you better advice than a generic list about how to get over someone you love. They can also offer better advice than family and friends.
Friends and Family
Your friends and family may feel they know your situation too well. Some of them may even have motives to help you get over the person who does not love you back. They might have not liked the person so they want you to get over them quickly and move on to someone else. With a counselor you can privately tell them things you would not want your friends and family to know.
If you seek out counseling you should continue to see them for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels like you are dwelling on the breakup longer than you need to, they will let you know.
You never stop loving someone; you just learn to live without them.
Falling in love with someone you can't have can seriously affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. You feel unhappy, dissatisfied with yourself, and even.