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How to say goodbye to someone you love

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How to say goodbye to someone you love
November 28, 2018 Wedding Anniversary Wishes 2 comments

Whether you are saying goodbye to a loved one or to a coworker, we've got a farewell quote for . Goodbye Quotes For Someone You Love.

Recently, I needed to say goodbye to someone special and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. This person wasn’t making me as much of a priority as I was making them. Their actions were not as loving as the words coming from their mouth. I gave this person several chances to treat me better, but they didn’t. So it was becoming more painful to have them in my life than to release them.

So I let go.

It wasn’t easy, because we had great chemistry and friendship. But one day, this person stepped on my heart just a little too hard and I knew I had to walk away. I’m in mourning right now, and I will probably feel the pull of this individual for a long time. And while I don’t know what the future holds, I do know that I must treat myself with kindness and respect in order to move on.

If you’ve just let go of someone, or are in the midst of deciding whether or not to call it quits, here are some aspects of the process to think about, as well as some strategies for coping with the misery.

 

Know when enough is enough. Maybe this someone has repeatedly disappointed you. Perhaps the relationship isn’t progressing the way you want, despite your best efforts to communicate. Perhaps you are putting more time and energy into the union than they are. The decision may be seem obvious to your head, but you’ve got to persuade your heart. The process often takes time, and it’s always painful.

How do you know when to give up the fight? It’s one thing if you’ve fallen completely out of love and can’t recapture the magic, despite your best efforts. In this case, you probably realize that once the ties have been severed you’ll be able to move on. But what if the love connection is there and the more “practical” stuff isn’t fusing? Maybe you want kids with someone who is unwilling to make that commitment, or perhaps you’re “in love” but throwing dishes at each other. What do you do when your heart and mind are at war?

One of the beautiful things about love is that it’s amazingly optimistic. And we can idealize someone who is unbelievably wrong for us. When we’re smitten, our minds can play tricks on us, leading us to make rationalizations for that person’s behavior and tell ourselves it’ll be different the next time. But remember, it takes two people to be committed. And it’s easier than you think to fall in love with the idea of someone, instead of who they actually are.

Ask yourself, what am I getting out of this relationship? Does it feed my soul, or drain me? Sometimes it’s hard to know when to quit. But your body knows. It responds to stress in a variety of ways, some subtle and some not so subtle. Are you losing or gaining weight? Do you feel anxious? Don’t ignore those revealing physical signs.

My final goodbye was accompanied by a flood of tears and a sinking feeling that it was really over this time. How did I know? Because the so-called “love of my life” said nothing to comfort me or prevent me from giving up. Maybe they were overwhelmed, maybe they were scared. Maybe they didn’t know how to give me what I needed. But the point is, they didn’t fight for me. They didn’t dignify me with a response, so I had to dignify myself by moving on.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” —Hermann Hesse

Realize It’s a Death. Losing someone to death is out of your control. But letting go of someone who is alive and well is a hard choice that can feel equally devastating. Psychologists will tell you that breaking up with someone can feel like a death, with all its complex stages.

At first, you may be in denial—a stage that actually serves to protect you from the intensity of the loss. Then you might feel numb. But as you slowly acknowledge the impact of the loss, both the denial and the disbelief will gradually diminish.

In the next stage, which psychologists often call the “bargaining” period,  you may have persistent thoughts about what more you could have done to prevent the loss, or become preoccupied with the good times you had together. Images of your loved one flood your mind and you might question your decision to walk away. I will probably always wonder if I should have stuck in there longer, as I will always be unsure if this person ever truly felt the same way I did. After all, how they could have been so affectionate and passionate and “into” me without seeing a future with me? How could they say that I was the love of their life, but then let me slip away? But as Pink sang, “Sometimes I think it’s better if you don’t ask why.” While exploring your role in a break-up can be a good way to learn about yourself, lingering in intense emotions like remorse or guilt can interfere with the healing process and keep you from moving on.

Depression is the next stage of grief, and it happens after you realize the true extent of your loss. Signs of depression may include sleep and appetite disturbances, a lack of energy and concentration, and crying spells. You might feel lonely, empty or sad. You may feel self-pity. Anger may be a part of this stage, too, especially if you felt powerless in the relationship or the situation. But remember that within you is an enormous well of power—a power that surges whenever you decide to take any self-worth-affirming action.

Allow yourself to heal. One day you’ll arrive at the final stage—acceptance. The quickest way to get there is by taking good care of yourself, both mentally and physically, while you heal. Because your energy is zapped from the emotional turmoil, all you may want to do is lie in bed and cry. And you will do that for a while. Cry your little heart out. Don’t pretend the pain is not there—let yourself feel it. Express yourself by writing in a journal or wailing on the phone with a good pal. But after a while, you know you’ve got to get up and get moving.

Take the dog on a walk, go on a hike, or do other activities you enjoy. Exercise has been proven to release feel-good chemicals within your body that can actually lighten your mood. Smile at people you meet in the neighborhood, or pick up the phone and chat with a good friend. Positive social interactions can boost your confidence and make you feel connected with the world outside your grief.

Look at the big picture. Remember that healing can take time. Some experts estimate you may be mourning for as long as half the time the relationship lasted. So go easy on yourself and realize it’s a process. Know that it’s OK to still love the person, miss them and think about. But remind yourself that you are often fantasizing about the person you wanted them to be. And realize that some day, you will look back and realize you learned something about yourself from this experience. It may be something profound, or it may just be that you finally discovered what a broken heart feels like. But you will have learned something.

One day, you also may decide to be friends with this person. Or, if they ever find the courage and the capability to love you the way you wanted or needed to be loved the first time around, you may give the relationship another try. But right now, just strive to be compassionate with yourself and take it day by day. And know that letting go was the best decision you could make at the time, given what you had to work with.

Right now, I need to be alone as I try to “get over” this person. I know it won’t be easy. I have no idea if this individual misses me too, or fully comprehends the impact our relationship has had on me. I don’t know if we’ll ever try to reconcile, but I do know that things will need to be different if we ever do. Right now, just thinking about what could have been makes me want to climb into bed and cry into my pillow. But I won’t. Because right after I finish writing this, I’m heading outside to meet some friends for lunch and a hike in the woods. Maybe I won’t be so strong later today, but that pillow will still be there for me. And that’s OK too. Baby steps.

He probably forgot I wanted his extra concert ticket when he invited someone else. If it were easy, we would say goodbye to any relationship in our life that It takes lots of self-love to walk away from a friend you've known all your life or a.

End-of-Life Care and Saying Goodbye

how to say goodbye to someone you love

When you feel love, you never think about how to say goodbye to someone you love. And now this is the moment, what do you do?

There are so many instances where I didn’t want to break up with a guy or end a friendship because I loved that person. I couldn’t picture my life without them. And I was so used to them in my life, I couldn’t see them not in it. And learning how to say goodbye to someone you love in such instances seem impossible. In reality, it’s necessary.

Who honestly enjoys saying goodbye to someone they love? No one does. In fact, this is why so many people stay in unhealthy or dead relationships. They’re scared to say goodbye. [Read: 7 secret and subtle signs your relationship is starting to go bad]

How to say goodbye to someone you love

But, just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they need to be in your life. Maybe they’re abusing you or in an unhealthy frame of mind which ultimately affects you. Recognizing that is one thing, but actually making a move to change it is much harder than it looks.

So, if you struggle with saying goodbye, you’re not alone. We all go through this at one point in our lives and right now, it’s happening to you. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary

#1 Know why you say goodbye. Why are you cutting the relationship? You need to sit down and think about why you’re doing this. This isn’t for them, this is for you. You need to know what you need and don’t need in your life. This way, you won’t make the same mistake twice. So, acknowledge their positive traits but also look at the negative ones. [Read: 16 clear signs its time for you to leave the relationship]

#2 Do it face to face. I know, this is probably the hardest and most uncomfortable thing you’re going to do, but you need to do it face to face. I mean, come on, if you love them, you should say everything to their face.

Can you imagine getting a text saying, “Hey, I can’t hang out/be with you anymore. K. Bye.” Be courageous and look them in the eye when you say it. [Read: How to break up with someone who loves you]

#3 Explain to them why you’re saying goodbye. If you’re ending a relationship you owe it to them to tell them why. Plus, if they know why right from the beginning, they can self-reflect and also not anxiously text and call you. Explaining it when you end the relationship cuts all the unnecessary drama from the situation.

#4 No cheesy lines. Please do not watch a chick flick before talking to them. Do not use lame lines like, “It’s not you, it’s me.” No, it’s them, in fact, it’s 100% them. I know it’s the easy way, but fuck that. You need to be honest with them about why you cannot continue the relationship.

#5 Go easy on social media. You may still have them on Facebook or Instagram, but it’s better if you didn’t. You need to let go of this person, creeping them on social media isn’t going to help you, it’s only gonna make it worse. I know you want to see what they’re doing and who they’re hanging out with but in reality, you don’t, you really don’t.

#6 This is going to take time. Once you speak to them, you’re going to be upset. Maybe not right away, but let it sink in, after a day or two, you’ll see. You love this person so, you’re going to be grieving the loss of the relationship. But the only thing that helps you get through it is time. It really does take time. [Read: How to deal with your broken heart and crawl out of the pit of despair]

#7 Don’t react to their anger. Listen, some people will take it fine. However, other people respond pissed. Here’s the thing, don’t act back. This isn’t supposed to be a fight, it’s the ending of a relationship. No insults, no yelling or screaming, no hitting, just walk away.

#8 Don’t give them hope. Don’t say lines like, “I will always love you” or “Maybe in the future.” You don’t want to give them hope, you want them to move on.

If you say these type of lines, it’s clear you’re emotionally attached to them. So, that’s something  to keep an eye on. Don’t lead them on after you say goodbye. Make it a clean cut.

#9 Write it out. Of course, you still love this person. You maybe didn’t even want to break up with them, but you had to. So, you’re sad, I mean, how can you not be. With that being said, you should write your feelings out. It doesn’t matter how you write it, just get it out of your system. You’ll feel lighter. [Read: 14 powerful ways to conquer unloving someone]

#10 Go out. Don’t hermit at home if you want to know how to say goodbye to someone you love. I did this and it was a big mistake. Yes, take a couple days to be alone but don’t spend weeks and weeks inside, crying in bed. You need to continue to live your life. Go out with friends, meet new people. They’re not the last person you’re going to meet in your life, so go out and live.

#11 Use this as an example for future relationships. You ended this relationship for a reason, right? The reasons were clear. So, remember those reasons. In fact, you should really keep them to the front of your mind, that way, you know what you don’t want in the future relationships you enter, whether romantic or friendly. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

#12 You know you’re going to be okay. I know you don’t feel it right now, but deep down, you know you’re going to be okay. Of course, you do, you know why? Because you ended it. You knew the relationship wasn’t good for you, you did this to protect yourself. You did this because you know what you deserve.

[Read: How to move on and overcome the pain]

Learning how to say goodbye to someone you love isn’t a walk in the park. But you know why you’re ending it, you also know that you have to do it.

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Here Is How You Say Goodbye To Your Forever Person

how to say goodbye to someone you love

There is a famous quote that says, “If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.” Being left in the dust after a failed attempt at a relationship is a feeling that nobody ever wants to experience. It feels like failure, defeat and you want to pick up all the pieces and put them back together, but you can’t. You were willing to give them the world and then they decided that maybe they didn’t want the world—or at least not from you.

And I get it. You loved them and they were so great and they made you so happy and you don’t know what you’re going to do without them, but let me ask you this: If they were so great, why would they leave you? If they made you so happy, how could they so easily walk away to make someone else happy? And as for not knowing what you’re going to do without them, you’re going to get over them. You’re going to walk away and say goodbye to all of the pain and hurt that you don’t deserve.

Obviously saying goodbye and closing your heart to someone you love is not an easy task—even when you know it is what is best for you. That person could give you a million reasons to leave but you continue to search for that one reason to stay.

But the truth is, it isn’t worth it.

If they found someone else and left you, they've done you a favor. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who has one foot out the door? And do you really think that controlling someone can stop them from cheating or leaving? Because it can’t. The person who is worth keeping is the person who has unlimited freedom to do anything, and still wants to be with you. The person who has trouble deciding what they want and can’t seem to commit themselves to you, is not.

Maybe it’s because something better always comes along, or the fact that people are so wrapped up in the idea that the grass is always greener on the other side. People give up on relationships way too easy and are always wanting the next best thing, when in reality, the best thing for them is probably already standing right there in front of them.

Stop wasting your love on the person who didn’t want to love you back. I promise you that the day will come when they realize that you were the best thing for them. And in the end, it will be their loss—not yours. So say goodbye to the past, say goodbye to the hurt, and say goodbye to the person you [used to] love.

The only time I've ever said goodbye to somebody I love was when she was moving away and wanting to continue the relationship as a long distance.

How to say goodbye to someone you love (when you don’t want to)

how to say goodbye to someone you love

We prepare ourselves for practically everything in this life. We go to the best universities to get the most prestigious degrees, and yet we don’t prepare ourselves for the one thing that we will all definitely experience: death. Neither for our own death, nor for that of a loved one. But is there really any way to prepare yourself for death?

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In my opinion, yes and no. Yes, when we live oriented towards eternity; that is to say, with our eyes fixed on eternal life, in heaven. Meeting God someday, face to face, is the most beautiful hope we can carry through our lives.

So then, how can we prepare ourselves to lose a loved one? The same way: by living with profound detachment, knowing that everyone we love is merely lent to us, and by saying goodbye with gratitude for the time we’ve shared. Of course, we understand this concept with our heads, but not with our hearts. That’s why it hurts so much to say goodbye.

What is clear to me is that mourning is experienced very differently when we live it from the perspective of gratitude and love, as compared to living it with fear and regret. In any case, death will always have an impact on us, surprise us and sadden us, as much as if our heart had been cut out. Then, time passes and we realize that healthy mourning helps to purify and transform our hearts.

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But, what is it that makes us sad? Is it just the absence of our loved ones? That frightening sensation of a knife going through your soul is very real. Only someone who has suffered profound losses can express it in words, and above all, understand it. It is painful to have to say “goodbye” (even if those of us who believe in eternal life know that it is a “goodbye” full of hope).

The lack of their presence grieves us. We miss their personal scent. We miss their words and their tone of voice. Hearing their favorite song transports us to special moments, and we wish we could turn back the clock and stop it there just to look at them, so that with silent words we could tell them just one more time how much we loved them… But how could we know that they would leave so soon…?

We are sorrowed by memories, and words left unsaid; by things we left up in the air, and problems we never solved; by hugs never given, caresses never received, and kisses never stolen; by forgiveness never granted, and attempts at reconciliation, rejected.

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We mourn love that wasn’t accepted, calls that went unreturned, and messages that were never answered. We are saddened by their presence no longer present; by our impotence before their absence… Wanting to hug them and not being able to, consoling ourselves with the memory of the last squeeze of the hand we received from them.

We want to be wrapped in their protecting arms, and all we can do is hold tight to a pillow, soaked with our sorrow. We want to hear their voice, we need their advice, and we only hear their memory in the distance, because there is no one to answer, no one to respond to so much suffering.

It hurts that the world has forgotten them, and that the mark of love that they once left, is erased. The suffering of loss blinds us so much that day turns into night; we wake up in the morning without wanting to wake up, because we know that another day of tears awaits us, a day of that pain in our chest that doesn’t let us breath. Our weeping drowns us; we live without living. We simply think, “Now, how am I going to live without you? I want to go with you, but I can’t… I am still here, but I can’t go on… I live without living…”

And what comes next? Learning to live in a different way, accepting the sorrow, making it our own so that we can live with it. Then, it is transformed; the suffering changes, and it all takes on a different meaning.

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The experts say that there are 5 or 6 stages of grief… Those stages of mourning were a model created by E. Kubler-Ross while working with terminal cancer patients. That is to say, the 5 stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) are the process experienced by a person who is going to die, but which today is applied to every process of grieving without distinction.

But when we are grieving, what good does it do to know what stage we are in? I want them to tell me in which of those stages I am going to stop missing you; in which I will cease to suffer your loss, in which I will stop weeping when your memory overpowers my soul, and I want to cry out your name with the impotence of an orphaned child who complains to the heavens, “Why did you go away? Why did you leave me?” In which stage do we cease to mourn the loss of a child or a brother or sister who didn’t deserve to die that way?

While we begin to live that process, we hear people of good will saying things that sound absurd: “She’s in a better place now,” and inside we think, “No! I want her with me.” And how about that saying, that “you have another little angel in heaven watching over you?” Really? No! I don’t want another little angel, I already have one. I want her, here at my side, taking care of me here, hugging me here.

Or that phrase that makes my hair stand on end: “Cheer up!” Cheer up? How does one do that? I pull my spirits up by their suspenders, or what? Really, how can I cheer up, if I feel like I want to die together with the person who is gone? That is the sensation: living death. This is why we need to learn to let each person live their grief as they can, and simply accompany them, in silence. In those moments, the only true consolation is God, if we have faith.

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Grief is as personal and unique as the stars in the firmament. Every loss is unique and worthy of being lived in accordance with our own personal capabilities. Here, the only thing that matters is to live our process of mourning as deeply as we can, always holding God’s hand.

They say that time heals all wounds, but I don’t really agree with that so much. Time teaches us to live with loss, but we can’t speak of healing when the sorrow we feel stems from profound love. Besides, you can only heal what is sick, and love isn’t a disease. Grief born of love doesn’t need to be cured, but lived. In addition, if healing means that I am going to stop missing you and thinking about you, I’d rather not be healed, because you will live as long as your memory lives in me.

Why are we so foolish, not fully enjoying the presence of our loved ones as if today were their last day?

From my heart to yours, L.I.

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Letting Go Of Someone You Love

Preparing to say goodbye to someone you love. Mom is so sick. I have said goodbye to someone I love that has died twice. The first time was.

how to say goodbye to someone you love
Written by Kitaur
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