After you thank the person for her compliment, mention that you are grateful for the If your friend compliments you on your outfit, use it as a stepping stone for a . for an organization, approach her later to say how her empathy is sweet and.
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Do you get really awkward when someone compliments you?
I used to. I blame it on my inner perfectionist. Plus, in Australian culture, we tend to believe that accepting a compliment means you have a ‘big head’ or are ‘full of yourself’ – so we deflect, dismiss and talk ourselves down. Rising up above others is seen as a big no-no.
And then I started hanging out with Americans, who do the opposite – they push each other up.
At first, I didn’t know what to say to their gushing comments of “Christina you’re amazing!” and “I love your podcast!” and “You’re the most creative person I know!”
…but after a while, I learned to take it. After all, it felt good! And I started giving more compliments to others (when deserved, of course. I ain’t blowing smoke up anyone’s ass!)
I got responses like:
“Oh, it was nothing!”
“Yeah…well, I could have done better”
“Are you serious? But I’m nowhere as good as so-and-so!”
Does this sound like you? If so, keep reading.
Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. They didn’t have to do that. Do you think if they didn’t mean it they would say it? (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to you…but hopefully you can see through it!)
If you say “Oh, no I’m not”, you’ve essentially rejected that nice gesture. Don’t make someone else feel rejected because of your own shitty insecurities. Reward them for going out of their way to say something nice.
Think about it this way: if someone gives you a gift, do you throw it back at them and splutter “Oh there is no way in hell I deserve this! Give it to Mike instead!”? Um, no. ‘Cos that’s just rude.
Don’t reject someone’s compliment gift.
I went rock climbing with a friend who had been doing it for years. As a newbie, I was amazed by his skills. I said “Wow, you are SO good at that!” and he immediately said “Oh, nah, I’m nowhere near as good as these guys”, indicating to some spider monkey lookalikes who were shimmying up a 45 degree overhang – backwards.
Well, if you’re not any good…then what does that make me?? I thought.
You don’t have to be the best in the world to be impressive to others. Remember that your ability is always relative. For example, I may not be a good public speaker compared to, say, Tony Robbins, but compared to the average person, I’m pretty good.
I’ve learned that negative self talk can be really detrimental to our success. The more you talk yourself down, the more likely you’ll start to believe that you’re no good. And if you believe you’re no good, it’s very difficult to improve and succeed.
So if you say “No I’m not, no I’m not, no I’m not” every time someone compliments you, those negative words will ingrain themselves in your brain and make you feel worse about yourself. So stop that.
(Side note: if you’re saying “No I’m not”, knowing full well that you are, but you’re just fishing for more compliments…you need to learn how to be ok with yourself. Seriously. The best way to get approval is to not need it.)
Firstly, resist the urge to say “No I’m not!” and instead simply say “Thank you”.
You can then follow up by giving praise to something or someone who’s helped you:
FRIEND: “Hey, I love your dress!”
YOU: “Thank you, it’s from _____ . I love their stuff, it’s so well made.”
NOT: “Oh please, it’s old. But YOU look gorgeous!”
COLLEAGUE: “Great job with your presentation today.”
YOU: “Thanks! Sam’s been helping me practice, which made it a lot less stressful.”
NOT: “Oh my God, I was so nervous. I’m so glad that’s over.”
DINING BUDDY: “Wow, this food is so delicious!”
YOU: “Thanks! It’s a Jamie Oliver recipe. Isn’t he amazing?”
NOT: “I don’t know, I don’t think it’s salty enough. Is it salty enough? It’s not salty enough. Here’s the salt. Is that better? Dammit, I should have put more salt.”
If you’re really good at something and you’ve worked hard for it, then for f**k’s sake BE OK WITH THE FACT THAT YOU’RE GOOD AT IT.
You don’t have to be a douche about it. There’s a difference between saying “Thanks, I am pretty good, aren’t I?” and “Thanks, I’m really proud of what I’ve achieved.” And if someone’s going to think less of you because you’re proud of an achievement, well, I think they deserve an un-friending anyway.
Here’s how to own it:
COLLEAGUE: “Wow, you did so well in that 10km fun run!”
YOU: “Thanks, I ran a personal best – I’m really happy with that!”
FRIEND: “I wish I could play guitar like you. You’re amazing!”
YOU: “Thanks – I practice every day – it’s helped me improve a lot.”
CAR PASSENGER: “Nice parallel park.”
YOU: “YOU KNOW IT!!”
(Ok, maybe you can be a douche every now and again ;))
I strongly encourage you to give it a go. The more you practice receiving compliments gracefully, the easier it will get. And then it will become second nature. And your confidence in your own abilities will grow.
So go out there, own what you’re good at, and say ‘thank you’. You deserve it, rock star!
(Oh, and if you want to further build your confidence when receiving compliments and making small talk, join my free Small Talk Made Simple class. Simply pop your name and email in the box below!)
Share these thank you quotes and sayings with people who have made a We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our Pin it! you, or offering other words of appreciation, along with sincere compliments and .
The responses can go one of three ways. One is deflection: responding with “oh it was nothing” or “it’s not as good as it could be,” or some other reaction negating the compliment. The thinking, says Owen, is that “if I agree with the compliment, I may look like I’m full of myself, and have a big ego.”
The second common response is to prattle on, which is its own form of deflection. If someone has told you how well your presentation went, you launch into the entire saga of your childhood stage fright, and your speeches that bombed in the past. This is also problematic, as “nobody wants to be lassoed into listening to a monologue just because they said something nice to you,” Owen says.
Finally, people can give compliments too much weight. Self-help guru Dale Carnegie identified compliments as a key strategy in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People: “Nothing else so inspires and heartens people as words of appreciation,” he wrote. While he wasn’t suggesting flattery for evil ends, compliments can be an effective form of manipulation. You’re more likely to buy when the salesman tells you how great that jacket looks.
So how can you take a compliment well? “If someone says something nice to you, a really great response is to simply say thank you,” says Owen. This is easier said than done, of course, but there are a few ways to change your thinking about it.
First, you do not have to agree with the compliment or agree with the motivations for a simple “thank you” to be the right response. There are many tragedies in the world and yet in this world of woe, someone has paused in their day to say something nice. “It’s such a great thing when you think about it,” says Owen.
We can be happy about this small moment of good for its own sake. “It’s just about expressing gratitude,” says Owen. “I don’t think we need to complicate it.” When viewed this way, “The other person’s motivations are not important, just as your own inner life in the exact moment a compliment is received is not really important either.”
You do not have to feel great about yourself in order to thank the person for introducing some positive vibes into the universe. Nor do you have to change any boundaries, or change any decisions you have made about what to do (such as not buying that jacket) because of this moment of positivity.
As for the prattling on, that is because many people find it difficult to see “thank you” as a full sentence. It certainly can be a full thought on its own. But if you want to say something else, you can always add “I appreciate your saying that.” Then continue with the conversation, perhaps asking how the other person developed an interest in this topic you are talking about. Your motto should be “give generously, receive graciously,” Owen says. If you do, you’re more likely to continue to receive compliments in the future.
Make your thank you note brief and sincere. What you say should be positive and truthful.
1. Express your thanks for the person's thoughtfulness.
2. Comment on the pleasure the compliment or praise gave you.
3. If others were involved, explain that you will share the welcome comments with them.
4. Close with a final expression of your appreciation.
Sometimes "Thank you" plus a compliment for them ("That coat looks great the emphasis in your response can be more on the "Thank so much, that's kind of you to say that. I always say, "You're sweet" or "Oh, you're kind".
Saying thank you is a simple and often overlooked way to show someone how much they mean to you. The gesture is made even more special when you’ve taken the time to include a small gift and handwrite a nice message in order to express your gratitude.
We’ve shared some of our favorite ways to say thank you that are sure to put a smile on anyone’s face.
Did you just have a birthday, wedding or baby shower and want to thank your party guests for showering you with gifts? A thoughtful note is a great way to share your gratitude. Make the sentiment really special by telling them specifically how they’ve brightened your day. Don’t be afraid to have some fun or admit how excited you are to use their gift!
Start your letter with one of these sentiments:
Whether a friend, family member or stranger has gone out of their way for you, surprise them with a small gift to show that their kind deed didn’t go unnoticed! A candle or incense are both inexpensive options to add to your thank you note for a little something extra.
You can customize one of these for your situation:
They are your partner in crime and have your back no matter what. Let your bestie know how much they mean to you by putting together a gift basket that’s just for them. Customize it with their favorite drink, a gift card to that boutique they always talk about, or items like bubble bath, an eye mask and slippers for a relaxing night in. Play with silly puns or recount your favorite memory with them to show how much their friendship means to you.
Here are some other ways to let a friend know how great they are:
Do you have a spouse or significant other that is always surprising you with kind acts? Take the time to tell them how much you love them by baking a sweet treat or buying them their favorite dessert. Add a short note with three reasons why they are amazing and watch their smile light up the room.
Get inspired to tell your sweetie how much you love them with one of these kind thoughts:
There are a few different moments when it’s appropriate to take the time to tell your boss or colleagues how much you appreciate them and their work. Maybe you just finished a project that you know you couldn’t have done without a co-worker’s expertise or your manager just lent valuable advice. Say thank you by giving some savory snacks to the person that needs a mid-afternoon pick me up or a new coffee mug to the early riser.
Here are a few ideas for telling someone that you are grateful for their contributions:
The great thing about saying thank you, is that it just needs to be sincere to matter. For those times where a simple, heartfelt reminder of your gratitude is all that’s needed, these will do the trick:
If you really want to make someone’s day, include a gift basket or some tasty treats that you picked out just for them to enjoy. No matter how you say it or what gift you surprise someone with, they are sure to appreciate your gratitude.
Click here to download our free printables that will give you nine great ways to say thank you, like with a gift tag or coffee sleeve!
However, politely accepting a compliment will make you seem more modest than In those situations, you might feel compelled to say, “Thanks, but it was really.